Writing is a solitary act that has the potential to involve millions of people. We know that. But, something else happens around holidays. The holiday season is not a one-size-fits-all experience of joy, happiness and love. For many people, especially writers, it is a time of loneliness, stress, dread and depression. There’s the heartache of missing loved ones who are far away or the first anniversary after losing someone dear. There’s the pull to join the party and the pull to write the last chapter.

It’s common for people to feel lonely, even if they’re in a room full of people, at any time of the year. Holidays can be a time of additional stress. We want to eat, we don’t want to eat; we want to sleep, we don’t want to sleep. We want to write; we don’t want to write. It’s a tough time for body and mind.

So, what can you do? There are many choices. You can sit and stew over your predicament. You can try to ignore your feelings or numb them with food and drink. You could turn to friends who offer refuge and encourage you to keep doing the things you’ve always done. But, I hope you will seek out someone to help you weather the storm, endure the experience of loneliness and learn what loneliness really is: a human experience. Take a seat and study this feeling, hold it as a treasure. Write about this emotion and how your body experiences it and all the variations it brings to your day. For it is by working through difficult emotions and times that our ability to feel compassion deepens and you will know when to say “I understand,” to another and describe them authentically in your writing.

While these tips are on the lighter side, they do help coping with the stress of the holidays:

• Take time to do something that will count as “taking care of yourself.”
• Contemplate how many people, beside yourself, are feeling lonely, too.
• Let go of expectations of others. They will always let you down. They are not you and they won’t say the things you think they should say or be the way you want them to be.
• Let go of expectations of yourself, too.
• Take advantage of the opportunities to exchange friendly greetings with people you see and think of someone you haven’t spoken to in a while and give them a call.
• Cultivate gratitude. Focus on what you have or have the potential to have.
• Give to others.