Have you ever wondered why some people have a positive, uplifting vibe and others don’t? We all have both positive and negative states of being or moods. There is a way to have more steady positive experiences. First, we should examine limiting beliefs that were given to us or acquired from others that hold us back. Here are a few examples:
“I can’t be happy if everything in my life is not as I want it.”
” I can’t be in a good mood if someone around me is in a bad mood.”
“I can’t be happy if something is bad or going wrong in my life.”
” I don’t know how to be in a good mood on my own.”
Do you see how beliefs such as these can hold you back from taking responsibility for your own happiness? They also create a dependency upon others to provide just the right words and actions to cheer us up. As soon as they look away, the mood would be hard to recapture.
You can change this habit and you should. Here’s how.
Change your mindset. Nothing is going to be perfect forever. Happiness comes in fleeting moments, but we can have more of it if we practice creating more joy and happiness in our lives, no matter the circumstances. Yes, even in the midst of turmoil and despair, you can simply look out the window at a sunrise or revel in the beauty of nature. You can write in your gratitude journal for what you do have. Breathing is number one. Every breath you take is a gift.
Take back your power. You have no control over what other people feel or believe. You are not responsible for their happiness nor are they yours. It feels wonderful when there is a win-win, but it’s not required for your happiness. Take responsibility. Set an intention every day that no matter what other people say, do, or feel, you have the ability to be with them, love them, agree or not agree, and to maintain your intention to have a good day. Keep your energy positive. If you slip into a negative mood, you can naturally shift it back to a positive one.
Find what lights you up inside. With practice and time, your beliefs about happiness will change. You’ll learn that even in the midst of grief, chaos, and change, you can find something inside yourself to experience joy. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Here are a few ideas:
- Enjoy beautiful music that you enjoy like this majestic video composed by Blake Scafidel https://youtu.be/d58wulf8RXA or whatever tickles your fancy.
- dancing — remember, when you were a kid you didn’t care what you looked like, it came naturally.
- singing — when you were a kid you thought you were a great singer. It’s only with age and conditioning that we begin to believe otherwise.
- lighting candles, scented or not
- fresh flowers on your desk
- telling jokes, watching movies that make you laugh
- meditating and/or praying
- playing with pets
- stop judging yourself and others –accept there is where you are (and them, too)
- turn off the news
- read
- garden
- write
Remember that you have control over your happiness despite circumstances. Trust yourself. You will be okay. Set you intention every day, i.e. “I will have a good day, be grateful for beauty, and face issues with joy and grace.”
An Exercise to Let Go and Embrace Transformation
Do something to signify change from that old way of being, believing or habits. You can write a letter to yourself. Create something that represents the old beliefs and burn it in a fire, or take a bath in Epsom Salts.
If you like the idea of writing but aren’t sure how to get started, check out my free Therapeutic Writing e-course here http://www.themuseskiss.com/brawley_free_writing_download.html.