Everyone has to make changes at some time in ?their lives. It’s a fact that change is a natural part of every human’s life. Those who do not adapt will die. It’s a simple law of nature.

Since you already know you have to undergo change in your life, why don’t you start thinking about it differently to make it easier on yourself?

1.) Negative Self Talk. Human beings do this because our brains are hard wired to think negative thoughts, especially when we are afraid of something. Our primitive mind takes over and we go into fight or flight mode. Sit quietly and breathe and tell your “lizard brain” that you are just fine and this change is going to lead to something positive in your life. Instead of thinking and saying, “This change is going to be so difficult.”, think and say (out loud) stuff like, “This change is going to create new opportunities in my life.” Or, “This diet is going to serve me well because I’m getting healthier and feel better.” You get the idea. Thoughts become things, so make yours good ones.

2.) The point of Freak Out. After you make a change in your life, it becomes uncomfortable at some point. This is what I call “the point of freak out”. It’s the point at which you keep moving forward or revert back to “what was”. Perhaps the excitement has worn off, you don’t immediately see the results you were looking for when you started, or you miss something about the way “things used to be”. The thing that will help you survive this bump in the road is to remember your feelings of missing something familiar or not feeling totally comfortable with “what is” right now are totally normal!

3.) Give yourself a way out. You can also make the decision here to stick with the change for a set time period and reassess your feelings. Decide what your alternative will be if you make a change and aren’t happy with the outcome. Very few changes in life are permanent. If you move somewhere new and you don’t like it, move back after a year. If you try a new career path and it isn’t for you, you can always change jobs. Or you can start off volunteering or doing side work in the career path you think you’d like to move to and see how that feels for you. If the change is a permanent one like deciding to have a child, adopt a puppy and see how that works out first or ask if you could help a friend or family member with their parental duties to see how it feels to handle the routine of a parent. Just knowing you have a way out or “plan B” is comforting.

4.) Drop the zeros and be your own hero. You don’t need any negative influences in your life while you’re trying to make positive changes or going through inevitable changes that you can deal with in a positive way. So, stop listening to the “Debbie Downers” in your life and talk to people who are willing to support you in what you’re going through. Talk to people who have been where you are and came out successful on the other side.

5.) Inspect what you expect. Remember that big change does not happen overnight. Be willing to accept that you may need to take small steps toward a larger goal. You will get there eventually! If you feel like things are not happening fast enough for you, reassess your position and goals. You may need to change your expectations to slow things down or make time and space in your life to move things forward faster.

6.) Celebrate your wins! This is the most important part of change. Celebrate all of your small steps / wins that come along with your change. Every step no matter how large or small is a step closer to getting you where you want or need to be.

I hope this short map helps you navigate the path on your journey of change we call life! If you want a great tool to help you chart your course through this journey, Sign up or my free writing course here (on the right side of the screen) http://themuseskiss.com/. 

Have you ever said that to yourself? It could have been a time when you blurted out something you regretted saying or did something out of character and felt embarrassed. Maybe, other people even said that about you, “That’s not like her.”

More personally, when you look in the mirror, do you ever judge yourself and think, “This is not me. The real me is much slimmer and younger!” This short pronouncement can lead to a sense of something being wrong, a disease of the body driven by the mind causing distraction and anguish.

There are times when “This is not me” is useful. For example, when you have a sense you’re getting sick but the doctor says everything is normal. That feeling of something in the body being “off” doesn’t go away and usually motivates us to get back to what we think we used to be. Exercising, sleeping more, and drinking less are all pursued with hope that we will re-capture how we used to be.

If we know or perceive our bodies to be different than we desire, there is a tendency to try lots of tactics to create or re-capture the body we think we used to have…when it fell in line with “That’s me.”

But, what is “me”?

If I had you draw an outline of your body and look at your hands, would that be you? If I asked you to color in areas that are sore, stiff, fat, etc. would that be you? No. But, if I asked you about belly fat, would you think that was you? It seems there a zillion commercials and testimonies about belly fat these days.

When you think about your real “me”, it’s likely to center on your heart. Everyone has a dream or vision of what they would be like if circumstances would cooperate and a full expression of talents in a body that fits the vision could appear. It is important to examine these whispered longings of dreams. Do you hide them? Have you given up on them? Is that part of the reason the image in the mirror doesn’t feel like you?

Since everything changes and we are subject to aging and all that comes with it, it’s likely some dreams are screaming to be realized and some are the yearnings of days gone by — not really what you want for yourself at this time in life. Isn’t it time to discover what is most important to you now because “now” is always the perfect time?

Let yourself dream…try it on in your imagination until if feels like you. Ask yourself these questions. Does it make you smile? Feel lighter? Motivate change? Do you want to sabotage your current self? Stay the same? Hide from yourself? Do you think this is good for your mental and physical health?

Maybe you’ll become conscious of what your body needs and doesn’t need in order to feel like the “me” you want to be. Maybe you’ll decide not to write the novel of the century you had in mind but instead to focus on writing the most delicious emails to people you care about. We’ve all chased dreams that wound up being an unwise choices. Don’t worry, you won’t do that again. Or maybe you learned and you’re ready to shape your life and create an environment to suit yourself.

Keep dreaming until you dream yourself into a new reality…one you will create and relish. Take action because you are not just a number or phrase. There is more to your “me” than that!