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21 Weight Loss Mistakes

This article is about the mistakes people make when they’re trying to lose weight. Many of them I have made myself.

You know what they say, “Learn from your mistakes.”. Better yet, learn from others’ mistakes. Here they are.

1.) Not starting is the first mistake people make. How many excuses do we make? Ugh!

2.) Stopping too soon after starting the weight loss journey. People give up too early. They will try one thing and give up. Be willing to try different things.

3.) We are not machines and a one-size-fit all approach is usually not going to work. You are unique. You will need your own unique way to accomplish your goal. Maybe you can eat the packaged weight loss meals and go on your merry way while others need to eat more (or less, even!) or drink more water or… – you get the point.

4.) This mistake builds on #3. It’s fine to start out on a name-brand program but, as soon as you can, switch to your own program. Maybe you like the entrees but you have a better idea for breakfasts or snacks. You have not failed with their program. You can measure the effectiveness of your choices.

5.) Not having a schedule. irregular eating, skipping meals, and watching food one day and not the others, make it harder for you to meet your goal. Start with one day of regular meals composed of healthy foods and then do that the next day. Baby steps.

6.) Apologizing to oops! days. Don’t. If you ate the cake, you ate the cake. It’s okay. Start over. It’s not the end of the world. You do not owe anyone an apology for your choices. Of course, we are hoping you continue to make good choices for yourself!

7.) Do you worry about what others want to eat? Don’t. Focus on what you need to eat today. If you have children who love fast food , indulge them once a week. Pay attention to what your body needs to feel healthy and achieve an ideal weight. Your intuition is highly appreciated for this.

8.) Don’t clutter up your kitchen with every cookbook, gizmo, blender and tool you see for sale. If you can’t estimate what a serving is, use guidelines like “a deck of cards” or use a food scale or measuring cup. These are already in your kitchen.

9.) When you slap foods together without much thought or interest, you will lose interest in the process. Learn to enjoy the process of putting nutritional meals together for yourself. Give your favorites a name, like you see on the restaurant menu selections or in cookbooks. It’s not oil and vinegar, it’s “Susie Que Yummy Tummy Shrinker salad dressing” for example.

10.) If your goal to lose weight is vague and your time to do it is soon, your brain doesn’t really get hooked on the idea of change. Write down your goal(s), Then write down what you will do by when. For example, “By next Sunday, I will have exercised 7 times.”.

11.) Don’t pay others to do it for you. It may be tempting to sign up for the saran-wrap lose weight program that promises to shed a quick 10 pounds for you. Do you really want to do this? I hear you. You’re thinking yes, but I’m here to remind you that, in the end, you have to do it yourself for you!

12.) Having too many goals can be overwhelming. Pare down your goals to groups — get healthy, earn more money. Break each goal into doable chunks and write down what you’ll do by when as noted in #10 of this list.

13.) Even introverts need a support group. Don’t think you have to do everything alone. However, don’t spend any time around people who don’t support you and your goals. Find friends or neighbors in your community or social groups that are like-minded.

14.) Don’t go on weird food diets. Choose foods that are normal but better. Chicken does not have to be fried to be enjoyed.

15.) Don’t believe everything you read about weight loss. Choose what is useful to you.

16.) Don’t try to impress others with foods that make them look at you funny. Shop and prepare wonderful meals that humans eat.

17.) How many times are you on the scales? Once a day is enough and some people weigh once a week. You do want to keep track but you do not want to be constantly weighing yourself and you definitely don’t want to compare your weight to others. Nope, don’t do it.

18.) Don’t be a meanie if a friend loses weight before you do. Personal attacks are not attractive on anyone. If anything, ask questions about what worked for them? We can all tweak little things for big success.

19.) Do you know why you want to lose weight? Really? I should have asked if you know why you want to make a lifestyle change. It’s like saving money. If I don’t have an idea of what I would like to do with that money, I’m not likely to save as much. But, if I know I can go on vacation with that money, hey… give me that quarter. Remind yourself of all the benefits you will have from this journey.

20.) Are you scales stuck or is your creativity on hold? There are many ways to get this process started and put behaviors in place that help you meet your goals. Don’t be a copycat if it’s not working for you.

and

21.) Nobody likes a know-it-all. If you are successful, celebrate! But, don’t become the kind of person on a mission to tell the rest of us how we should do what you did. Help us. Teach us. Challenge us. Support us. That will make people want to know what you know.

The Last Spoonful Of Jam – To Eat Or Not To Eat

I’m not young or skinny, although I’ve been both.

I know the month and year when I gained weight and the most I’d ever weighed. I can tell you the outside story of why that happened but, for the life of me, I can’t tell you why those pounds stayed around after the traumatic event passed. Oh, they play hide-and-seek but I always find them. Or, do they find me? It doesn’t matter.

I’m now trying to get to the root of this problem and figure out what type of eater I have become. I figure that will help create meaningful goals and plans for change. No need to plan to stop eating bread if I don’t eat bread anyway. No need to add more cardio if I’m already doing in hour a day. Get my drift? It goes deeper.

Morning breakfast gave me a good test. I like a spoonful of jelly / jam with my toast. I don’t eat that every morning but it was toast morning and I had the peach jam jar in my hand spooning out the last of the jam. I had enough for the toast, but there was about one spoonful left in the jar. Suddenly, I felt like I was in the crosswalk of New York traffic and didn’t know which way to go. Should I eat the spoonful or throw the jar away with the spoonful in it? The jam didn’t have a smidgen of peach in it, it was purely sugar that I didn’t need. Then, there’s my husband’s habit of retrieving jars from the trash and surely he would scold me for throwing away food.

Well, I ate it. Then, the analysis came. I wanted to get to the bottom of it (pun intended) :) Was this the lesson of childhood of “clean your plate”? Greed? Waste not want not? The “Mikey Will Eat It” habit of eating leftovers whether they were good or not?

It was certainly not unconscious eating or eating from starvation, although you might have wondered the way I wolfed it down. Maybe it was eating before anyone could see me. Am I a Secret Eater like some folks are secret drinkers?

This is turning into a mystery game.

My question to you — Would you have eaten the last spoonful or not? Why?

If you aren’t sure, maybe my food personality quiz will help you decide. Sign up at the following link and download and print it free. It gets to the heart of your emotional eating triggers. Click on the button below, enter your name and e-mail address and get instant access to the food personality quiz. Check it out. You may never look at weight management the same!

Please let me know. I may be the only person who would!

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The Lost and Found Department for Weight Loss

Ever had that sinking feeling when you started to leave the store and realized you had lost your car keys?

The sinking feeling morphs into panic and your whole being goes into overdrive. You are looking everywhere and you finally remember there is a Lost And Found department. Ah! You run there ever so fast and see the clerk pulling the door closed and you hear the lock turn, just as you make it there.

But, you know she’s there. You still feel there’s a chance she’ll hear your plea and open the door just for you.  So, in rising voice, you beg for the door to open – all you need is a peek! And your prayers answered. She opens the door just a slit as if she’s doing something wrong and listens to your story. She smiles, “Yes, someone turned that in earlier. I’ll get it for you.” Then, she hands over your item. Tears are not enough to show your thanks, but you try to tell her how good she is and how much you appreciate what she did for you.

The panic feeling washes out of your body replaced by feelings of happiness and relief. You tell yourself, “I’ll never do that again.”

Imagine that the next week you’re shopping at the same store and you lose your keys again. You turn up at the same Lost and Found department and talk to the same helpful lady. She has them. The scene is repeated and you tell yourself again, “I’m never going to lose my keys again.” But, you do.

How would you feel if you did this every week?! Would you allow yourself to keep losing your keys or would you recognize a “pattern”? Now, think about how many times you’ve lost weight. How many times did you gain it back? Isn’t it a little like the Lost and Found story? You suddenly become aware you’ve lost weight! You’re happy and relieved.

BUT, soon you’re at the Lost and Found begging for the pounds be returned to you. And, they are no matter how many times you’ve lost them. That may sound silly but it’s about 99.9% true for most people. There are thousands of people pounding on the Lost and Found door wanting their weight to be returned to them. I can hear you. You’re saying, “I didn’t want my lost pounds to return. They came back on their own.”

Really?

Think about the choices you made right before your pounds showed up in your life after you thought they were gone for good. Just as it would be ludicrous for us to keep losing our keys, the same is true when we repeatedly lose and gain weight.

Here’s why you do it. Despite what we’ve been taught, we are all emotionally hungry in some way. That’s right. We all connect with food emotionally in some way, but society and the media don’t touch on this part of weight management. So, I’m here to tell you that before you can be seriously committed to any weight loss plan or address any challenges you have around eating or weight loss, you need to look inside yourself first.

If you would like to learn more about this, Click Below to sign up and download my free quiz on identifying your eating personality and emotional eating type.

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The Things We Think We Have To Do – Are You Sabotaging Your Dreams?

If I asked you to make a list of all the things you think you have to do would it go on forever? If I asked you to mark the ones you think you absolutely have to do, you’d have a shorter list. Some would be related to work or family, some friends and some moral codes.

Now, If I asked you to make a list of what you have to do for yourself – just you – how long is your list now? Is it the shortest list? Why is that?

Enough questions. But, I hope it got you thinking about the things you would like to do for yourself. I’d like to make it easier for you to grow into a place where you can do things for yourself and not feel guilty! For example, just think of how many diet programs and food plans are available to solve our weight problems for us. They all work but most don’t last. Why is that?

The same mind, mostly our unconscious mind, keeps us stuck doing the same thing over and over to sabotage what we say we want to achieve. In this example, it would be in the lose weight – gain weight pattern.

You hear people say, “It didn’t work.” “I couldn’t keep up the plan.” “It’s too expensive and time consuming.” Most people don’t succeed at losing weight with only products. Products don’t measure our desire, emotions, sense of urgency, and fears. True, if we feel a bigger sense of urgency to lose weight, we have a better chance. But how long does a sense of urgency last before we give up and eat to handle emotional needs or to handle stress? I’ll tell you why.

Their success has everything to do with mindset.

You can develop insight to understand your mindset about losing weight (or other goals) by writing answers to all the questions in this article. The next one is very important. Think about it.

What is it you’re not willing to change to have the success you want? Write these things down. Go through your life and be honest. The things you write down control your life. These things may be holding you back from losing weight, too.

You see, it’s not the programs and strategies to lose weight that fail you. Your mind is working perfectly well. There is nothing wrong with you. But your mind is running on beliefs that you value and believe are true. Remember, just because we believe something, doesn’t mean it is true. For example, you may believe that you would never steal anything because it goes against your beliefs. But, if you were told your child has a week to live if you didn’t steal something, would you change your belief? Most people say they beg, borrow, and steal to save another person’s life. They would change their entire mindset from thinking they could never do something to thinking they must do it no matter what.

But, would you change your mindset to do something for yourself? What belief is running through your mind about your worth? Have you been taught to put yourself last? What good does that do?

If you’d be interested in participating or listening to a free teleseminar next month about how to make changes drop me an email at Dr B@earthlink.net. I’ll add you to our guest list and make sure you get the info.

Why You Should Forgive Someone When You Don’t Want To

IMG_6728I know, I know. You’re most likely thinking you are the one who has been wronged and need an apology not the other way round. And, most likely, you’re right.  But (you knew it was coming), victim and victimizer are like a see-saw. We know how to play both roles.

This article will help you get relief. By this time in life, you probably have a story about the time(s) when you were wronged. It could be when you were abused or treated unfairly by people you love or harassed at work. Fill in you blank. We all have an inner story like this.

  •  Who do you blame for these feelings?
  • In your mind, how do you talk to this person?
  • If you blame yourself, how to you talk to yourself?

If it’s someone else you blame, you should know they may never apologize. The solution is not to get them to apologize. The solution is to forgive them anyway in order to be free. Break out of the prison of victimhood. Forgive so that you can get past where you’re stuck and quit telling the same old stories that bind you to people who have wronged you.

Think of a person you don’t want to forgive. Question your belief about what forgiveness means. It is not excusing their wrong. Question your belief about the influence of your life, such as “I’m this way because of what happened to me, because he/she cheated.” Is that really true? Or is it an excuse? Or maybe to let go of the excuse means your story/life has to change.

It’s not easy. Childhood hurts lodge themselves in the brain that change our views and behaviors. Mirror neurons pick up what someone puts out and other people pick up what we put out. If the feedback loop is, say distrustful, you will see that in others and they will feel it about you. That’s enough to make an effort to do some personal development work aimed toward feeling positive and free.

There are 3 levels of forgiveness.

The first one is practice. It’s like what we tell our children to say when they take another child’s toy, “Say, I’m sorry.” In grown-up talk, it’s “sorry about that, etc.” We’re not really feeling sorry, we just say we’re sorry. It’s a start. It’s part of the human ritual.

The second level requires thoughtful inquiry. We become psychologically engaged to figure out what we’re feeling and whether or not the other person actually meant to hurt you.

The third level may surprise you. Your heart can be opened by grace, compassion, seeing the nature of humankind or many other experiences that increase your awareness of oneness.

Counseling, meditation, and yoga are pathways to forgiveness. So is confession, the 5th step in the substance abuse 12-step program, and talking to your best friend. My favorite pathway is writing. Therapeutic writing allows you to feel your way through this process and you can refer back to it later to see your progress.

Why is this important? Because you are important. It’s unhealthy to harbor grudges, stuff feelings, or act-out unexamined beliefs. This can create disease, obesity, loneliness, and a bitter attitude toward life in general. If you’ve ever smoked, drank, or eaten too much because of feelings, you remember how good that felt in the moment but how bad it felt moments later.

We all need to start over sometimes. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you don’t need to communicate your feelings to someone who’s hurt you. But, you have to start with you first. The person you most need to forgive may be yourself.

I have created an impactful free workbook to help you on your journey to forgive whoever it is in your life that needs forgiving. You can sign up here to get it and you’ll instantly receive the download in your inbox MOVING PAST STUCK HANDOUT.