Everybody has an idea of how things could be better. Most of the time we are aware of what’s going right for us as well as the areas of our lives we hope to improve, like relationships, health, or finances.

I’d like you to participate in a short exercise with me, so I can show you how you can have the things you want once you discover what’s holding you back. Use your answers as a road map to overcome the obstacles in your life.

So, I invite you to take out a notebook or come back here later (meaning in the very near future like tonight or tomorrow) and answer these questions. You will be surprised at what you’ll find. You can spend as little or as much time as you need on these but be sure to answer thoughtfully.

This first question deserves some careful thought. You’ll want to take it seriously and write down whatever comes to mind. Now is not the time to suppress, dismiss, or criticize what your mind presents. Ready? Here is the question: In your life, what are you NOT willing to change or do to have the success you want?

What am I talking about? Here is example. If you say you wish for better health but you’re not willing to quit smoking, eat better, or exercise and you know it, that would be your answer. There are answers to all the areas of your life you want to improve. If you’re in a bad relationship but you’re not willing to move on, write that down. Writing these things down does not mean you have to act on anything ….just yet.

The answers to the question are clear markers on your roadmap. They are holding you back, controlling your life, keeping you from having what you say you want.

When you feel like you understand the things you are not willing to do are part of your problems, you will have to ask the next question. What do I need to do to see a different result? For example, if you want to be healthier but you don’t want to stop doing what you’re doing now, how can you get healthier? People don’t like to change their mind because it’s the mind that is set on keeping you from change.

You could even have thoughts about terrible things that would happen to you if you changed. The anxiety level of looking at that first list and thinking about changing can bring on a panic attack! But, take a deep breath and remember you are safe. You are only writing your thoughts on paper. So, let loose.

No ask yourself why are the things you aren’t willing to change so important to you? (Write your answers down). How did you come to value them so much over something that is good for you? How much do you value your life?

For many of you it will be easier to answer this question if I ask you to think about this scenario. A kidnapper sent a message that says, “Unless you paid $20,000.00, your loved one will be killed.” Would you exhaust every possibility to save his/her life? Of course you would. You’d beg, borrow, get a loan, sell everything to raise the money, right?

Would you do those same things to save yourself? Would you save, earn, invest, learn, and act on good decisions to have success in your life?

When you value your life as much as another’s life, you’ll move forward on your roadmap to success. If you’re thinking you’re not important enough, that the situation is not right, or “someday” you’ll change, you’re telling yourself a lie and not valuing what is important.

Are these things truly more important than making positive changes? If they are, than stop feeling guilty and make the decision to be happy the way you are.