All year long you’ve heard more about self care than you did in the 80s when it was discovered that stress makes us sick. Now is not the time to give up, especially because I’ve given you some tips that are feel-good options.
While your stress is unique, the brain response is predictable. Thoughts lead to emotions and behavior, such as overeating, becoming a couch potato, raging at whatever crosses your path. .
What if you are already depressed or anxious? Does that mean you are doomed to lead a life filled with stress challenges? The good news – absolutely not! There are ways to manage both mental disorders and stress before you can’t tell which came first.
Here is a list of what and how and why.
1.) Listening to your Body is important.
What: Tune in to what your body is saying.
How: Set an alarm for every two hours each day. Tune into how you are feeling in that moment. Write down what your body needs, such as a stretch, a foot massage, a few deep breaths or a 10 minute meditation break. Are you hungry? Do you need a break? A nap?
Why: Your body deserves having needs met and often we stop paying attention when we are pressed (stressed) for time. But it will sneak up on you later in the form of illness, restlessness, anxiety, etc.
2.) Lean into your Thoughts and Feelings.
What: Tune into what you are thinking and feeling.
How: Devote a few minutes every day to journaling about what’s on your mind and what you are feeling. It can be as simple as “I’ve been thinking about…. Today.” and “Right now, I am feeling……”
You might list all the things that trigger an emotion, such as anger or sadness. Another feeling worth exploring is fear. For two minutes, let yourself write about fear. It may not be the “main” feeling but it lingers in the back of your mind and stops us from doing what we want.
You may want to write down how you’ve behaved at the end of the day.
What sensations do you feel in your body?
Why? To remind yourself you are not your thoughts. You are a separate person who is having thoughts and emotions and you can begin to see a pattern related to stressful situations.
3.) Dreams are Important.
What: We’ve been trained to disregard our dreams, telling ourselves our dreams are weird or “just a dream.” Yet, they leave messages during the night, offer insights and, with proper interpretation, motivate us to be curious about our own mind. They are both biologically and psychologically important for mental health and well being. These are the night dreams.
What about Day Dreams? They are equally important. Don’t feel guilty for exploring what you really love to do. The same goes for what your goals and aspirations are. Don’t expect anyone else to love it like you do. It’s not their Dream. You don’t have to quit your job tomorrow to live your dreams.
How: Channel them into your days, whether it’s putting together a jigsaw puzzle of Paris before you plan a trip or putting your feelings into a poem or painting them in an art class.
Knowing and living your dreams is a great act of self-love. Put away the shoulds and consider what you really love to do. What activities bring you joy? What are your aspirations? What would you do for free? What did you love as a child? You don’t have to overhaul your career to live your dreams. You can channel your dreams into your days, whether it’s penning a poem before work or painting in the evenings. These are suggestions, but the action should be doing something you enjoy.
Why? It soothes your body, mind, and spirit.
4.) Be Mindful.
What? Do a mindful Exercise.
How? Practicing mindful exercises such as yoga or mindful walking is a safe way to reconnect with your body and accept this is “now.” Mindful exercise is not driven to manipulate your body into a pretzel or attain a number on your step-counter.
Why? It cultivates kindness and acceptance toward your body. It is enjoyable.
5.) Every sea has a shore. Establish healthy boundaries.
What? Say no because you are being true to yourself, not being bad to others.
How? Start small and stick with it. Lean how to say, “I wish I could do that for you, but my time is already booked.” in your own words.
Why? Boundaries are essential for reducing stress. It is easy to fall into relationships that undermine your mental health and contribute to stress by asking more and more of you, even to the point where you forget about self care.
6.) Write a love Letter
What: Write a message that counteracts the ANTS in your mind. ANTS stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. You can picture these little buggers crawling all over your brain when you catch yourself having a harsh, critical, judgmental thought.
How: Replace these ANT thoughts with positive affirmations about yourself. If this feels weird, make a list of your attributes, accomplishments, traits,. Imagine a friend writing this about you. The letter is written in your kind, loving voice. The self-critical statements are untrue. Replace them with realistic, helpful or compassionate messages to yourself.
Why? Because some days are crummy and the ANTs take over. It’s good to have a positive letter to come back to and read again to put things in perspective.
7.) Make a Date.
What? Include activities that nourish your soul and make you smile and feel relaxed.
How? Go to your Calendar and schedule several dates with yourself this month.
Why? Treat yourself like someone you love. If you can’t think of where you would like to go or what activity would be fun, you’ll have to keep an open mind to learn these things. You are a human being who needs care and you are the best person to provide that care. Don’t wait until someone reads your mind. They may never guess you like to go to a stationary store and smell paper and handle pens.
If you are struggling with this and need help, you can schedule a coaching consultation or therapy session with me, and I’d be happy to help you get started!