When we struggle to change a habit or behavior that isn’t serving us well and we fail multiple times, we may feel desperate. When we feel desperate, we’ll do almost anything to overcome whatever hurdle is standing in our way of making it to our self-imposed finish line. If we can’t find a way to overcome it, it’s easy to become bitter.

What is bitterness? Bitterness is disappointment and resentment that occurs from the feeling of being treated unfairly. That make sense, right? We often do feel treated unfairly when we try really hard to do something and we just can’t seem to do it.

But, what if we thought about the challenge differently?

There is alternative to feeling bitter. Perhaps, it’s getting to the root of why we are having the challenge in the first place that’s more important. If we take a moment to ask ourselves, why we can’t stick to our diet, organize our paperwork, give that public speech, or overcome our illness, we may find the solution to the problem.

Not asking why we are having such a hard time is a little like trying to put a band-aid on broken bone. You may stop the blood from coming out, but the bone will not heal! So, stop and take a few deep breaths. Write your question down in a journal answer it. Becoming aware of your broken bone is the first step to healing it.

Then, some of you may think, “This issue is not in my control.” Perhaps, you’re sick with an illness that you can’t seem to shake or someone has done something to you and you are struggling with overcoming those feelings. Try to think of this situation as a lesson and a story. Ask yourself what you can take away from this situation and turn into something positive. Sometimes, there’s solace through suffering. Maybe you have a lesson to share with someone else or maybe your current situation has brought you where you need to be to help you realize something that will change your life for the better.

Before you accept the bitter taste of bitterness, I challenge you to regroup and find the sweetness that life has to offer.