Category Archives: Stress Relief

Zentangle Your Way to Mindfulness

Just like any other bad habit or addiction, it’s important to find something to replace the behaviors that tie you to the dreaded outcome on the scale when you over eat. It doesn’t matter what the reason is. It could be stress, emotional eating, or boredom. If you’ve made food a “go-to” for comfort and/or joy, it’s time to insert something else into your life.

You can find a multitude of things to do to replace food when you are using it as a crutch and aren’t sure what to do with your time or emotions. I’ll just share one with you in this article.

I recently discovered an art form called Zentangle that promotes mindfulness, and it’s very easy to learn and do. What the heck is this?

It’s a relaxing way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It’s kind of a fancy form of doodling. Anyone can use it to create beautiful images. The photo shown here is a board done by a group of women who each did one “tangle” at a Zentangle workshop and then compiled a board or “Zentangle” with all of them on it.

All you need to Zentangle is a square of paper, a .01 graphic pen, and a tortillian pencil. That’s it. It’s very inexpensive. You can put it in your purse or even in the pockets of your clothes. You can take it anywhere and it works extremely well to calm you down and take your mind off of food and whatever is bothering you. Primary school teachers even use this tool to get their students focused and ready to learn new subject matter when they are anxious or restless, and it works like a charm!

What are the benefits to doing Zentangle? It increases focus and creativity, provides artistic satisfaction along with an increased sense of personal wellbeing, and helps to combat boredom and frustration and calm the mind. If you want to learn more about Zentangle, you can go to this site and check it out https://www.zentangle.com/.

You may be suffering from trauma and not even know it

I’m going to talk about this in terms of weight loss, but I think there’s a lesson here connected with all of our behaviors. When you reach for that next bite of whatever is calling to you, is it real hunger you feel or are you getting emotional comfort from that food?

If you are, it’s not your fault! Whether you realize it or not, you’ve suffered some type of trauma in your lifetime. Whether it was something small like falling down and scraping your knee or big like being physically or emotionally abused, we’ve all been through stuff. We are often comforted with food even as little babies. Our parents would give us a bottle to comfort us.

We celebrate with food in good times, use food as a source of energy, and use food to console us in bad times. So, the next time you reach for something yummy, ask yourself why you want that food and what other times you eat that food. Do you always grab the chocolate after a long day at work?

If you want to learn how you can recognize trauma and change your behavior (no matter if it’s food that’s your vice or a different behavior), sign up here for my free 30-minute call on How to Lose Weight for Life http://themuseskiss.com/loseweightforlifecall/.

What Do You Mean, I’m TOO OLD To Drink?

Yes, I know you’re over 21 and can do what you darn well please, including drinking. But, do you want to? You may not realize how dangerous it is for seniors to drink. If you or your family members are taking any medications (like Aspirin) and you still drink alcohol, you need to read this!

Alcohol helps many people relax or cope with changes in their lives. It’s not that easy to down-size, retire, deal with adult children and, possibly, aging parents at the same time. This is the plight of people over 55 years-old.

You’re not alone. You have family and friends going through the same thing. Let’s have another round. Put a few more ice cubes in my drink. What’s wrong with that? The doctor said a couple of glasses of wine was good for my health.

I’ll share a story with you. I was recently in a counseling session with an older couple whose marriage was in trouble. The wife was upset that her husband had stopped doing nearly everything. He was almost completely inactive and had become an entirely different person mentally and physically. Once I had the chance to talk to them, we figured out he was taking 3 or 4 powerful prescription meds that minimize one’s energy and drinking alcohol almost daily. Now who would feel like doing anything under those circumstances?

The couple didn’t realize how many depressive meds the husband was taking because he received them slowly over time and the dosages increased. They didn’t think of the drugs as downers because they were from a doctor and used to help with serious conditions. To add to that, he would take over-the-counter meds like Aspirin and give no thought to the effect it would have on his body.

Maybe this hasn’t happened to you but, for many, the glass of wine turns into a life-altering disease. Ask any director of a treatment center and you will hear those stories. How does this happen?

The fact is we get older and body functions (like metabolism) slow down. Two drinks feel and look like four. Because the liver and kidneys do not function as well as they once did and because 83% of people over age 65 are taking prescription drugs (for pain, anxiety, insomnia), your body has to process more than just the two drinks. And, the prescription drugs enhance the effects of alcohol. In negative ways.

We drink alcohol and take medications for the same reason — to feel better. Many people also have a history of using illicit drugs. The number of older adults using illicit drugs is expected to double by 2020 to 3.5 million people!

So, you can see why many people are shocked to learn what they’ve always done is now something they need to quit. Just at a time when all the stresses of aging and change are happening, and both physical and mental pains are emerging.  And you may think, “But, it’s always worked before.”

You may be shocked to know why it’s different now and the simple medications that become harmful when they are coupled with any amount of alcohol. Because I care so deeply about senior health and happiness, I’ve written a full FREE report on this subject, which includes a list of drug interactions. Click here to download it now.

How to Develop an Intimate Relationship with Your Body

In this article, I discuss one perspective on the intimate relationship we have with our bodies, particularly weight. It is a mundane topic but one that graces the cover of almost every magazine in the grocery store check-out line and many ads on TV.  Like many of us, I grapple with the problems and attitude that intrudes into day-to-day life and causes us to act on impulse and desire. Happiness will never come from grasping and yet, what are we to do? Give up? No. Give in. Give in to the situation and make it better.

Consider the benefits of becoming intimate with your body. All of it. It’s size, age, beauty and flaws. The parts that hurt and the parts you like are all part of the weight. Weight is more than a number. I’m not saying numbers are meaningless. Far from it. Numbers give us direction. But, there is so much more than body mass that makes up the number we see on the scale.

Just like when you are in relationships with others, intimacy has to do with seeing yourself in others and feeling they are “like me.” Your identity is not challenged and you are not disturbed by what others think or feel about you. But, when there is a disconnect with identity, perhaps weight, you look in the mirror and think, “This is not me.” But, you need to look deeper to find out why you are feeling the disconnect. Is it because there is a true gap between the person you see in the mirror and who you are inside? Or is it because you think you need to be someone else to make others happy?

We don’t want others to see us as overweight. We care what they think about us because we are always thinking about ourselves, rather than the other person. We become self-conscious. In Buddhism, the second noble truth shows us that the source of suffering comes from desire and excessive focus on self. We want something outside ourselves to fix it.  It could be a person or the latest diet pill.

When I think of how many people are unhappy about their weight, I feel very sad at how weight has become the focus and such a big marker for happiness. Some may be teased by others, are internally traumatized by it, or are physically sick from it.

I’d like to raise awareness that a perfect weight is NOT the goal, or a reason to become self-critical. Knowing if you truly do want to lose weight and why is the goal.

If you are happy in your own skin, that’s all that matters! If you’re not, ask yourself why. Become more aware of how you are talking to yourself about your body. Lighten up. Make a list of the things you love about yourself. Drop the criticisms and create an action plan to bridge the gap if there is one In meditation, hold your body in totality. Try to not celebrate gaining or losing pounds. It’s distracting from the joy of living.

Point of View

bigsur-2Unexpected discoveries are expected, even looked forward to, on vacation. Anticipation of seeing new places, eating different foods and hearing other languages gives us a perspective of leaving home. Most travelers imagine what it would be like to live in vacation spots.

And, so it was with me. Driving down California’s Highway 1, famous for beautiful vistas, treacherous curves and plummeting cliffs is an adventure. No wonder it is the site of movies and commercials. The beauty and anxiety draw you into the scenery. I was prepared for Highway 1. I’d driven it many times. I was not prepared for turning left into a redwood forest with a breathtaking drive and view that transports you to visions of early life on our planet. Trees so tall your neck stretches back to see the tops, growing in “families” of circles, grouped together and arching over the paved path to form shade.

Turning left gave us instant awe and surprise! We even took pictures looking out at the end of the road. One view was a picture of the blue Pacific ocean, ringed by yellow grass and beach, overcast with blue and white marine layer. Now, turn around in the same spot and snap a picture of the entrance to the Redwoods, where every clearing on the road had a cabin smushed into the landscape. A retreat.

Isn’t that the way it is with meditation practice and looking at our thoughts? One view is one way but the same thought can be experienced differently? For example, take weight. “Boo hoo – I didn’t lose any weight this week” or “Whoo hoo, I didn’t gain any weight this week!” Same fact, different perspectives which will lead to similar thoughts and feelings about weight/self.

Is one any better than the other? Not really. They are just different. They can become different experiences if we travel down the thought path or more positive or more negative thoughts, believing them. We have a choice. We can look at our thoughts, whatever they are, and accept them as “just another thought” and “this is my thought about that” and let it go. That’s all. Another one will come. Just as another experience came down Highway 1. Oh, yes, traveling Highway 1 is like this and now it is like this.

Moments in time give us a perspective of view, but nothing stays the same. Change can be beautiful.

Meditation for Stress Relief

oceanmedAt some point in your life, you have to deal with issues that stress you out. It could be one big issue or a bunch of competing problems that drain your energy and leave you feeling zapped. Perhaps you’re experiencing the loss of a loved one and struggling to focus on work. Or, you’re going through a divorce that’s affecting family relationships. You’re losing sleep and your weight is fluctuating. It’s as if your life is spinning out of control.

The benefits of meditation have long been recognized as a technique to alleviate stress in many circumstances. Following are methods you can try yourself.

Breathing Meditation

Find a quiet spot where you can either sit with your legs crossed or where you’re comfortably seated in a chair. Avoid lying down so you don’t fall asleep.

Close your eyes and breathe through your nose, not your mouth. Feel your stomach expand with each inhalation and contract with each exhalation. Breath should not be controlled – just let it flow in and out, slowly and deeply while concentrating on how it feels flowing through your nostrils.

Don’t let thoughts distract you from concentrating on your breathing. If this happens, bring your awareness back to how your breath feels.

Mindfulness Meditation

Like breathing meditation, you focus on the flow of your breath during mindfulness meditation – but you can also concentrate on other experiences during this time.

The intention of mindfulness meditation is to be mindful and aware, with acceptance of living in the present moment. Without passing judgment, observe your feelings, emotions and thoughts.

Visualization Meditation

Is there a place you love to visit that relaxes you? The ocean? The mountains? A field of flowers with birds chirping happily nearby?

With visualization meditation, you form mental images of places or situations you find relaxing. Try incorporating as many senses as you can. For example, if you imagine being at the ocean, sense the smell and taste of the salt air; hear the waves crashing on to the shore; see the glimmer of sunlight dancing on the water’s surface.

Tips for Fitting Relaxation Techniques into Your Life

  • Set aside time each day. It may be best to practice meditation first thing in the morning, before other responsibilities get in the way.
  • Meditate while you’re doing other things. Practice the method that works best for you while waiting for a doctor appointment, exercising, walking the dog, mowing the lawn or cooking dinner.
  • Avoid meditation at bedtime. Some of these methods can relax you so much that they may make you extremely tired, especially close to bedtime. You will get the most out of meditation if you practice when you’re fully awake and alert.

The benefits of practicing meditation will most likely help you to more easily manage pressing issues in your life. If you feel you need more guidance with meditation, email me at DrB@earthlink.net.