Category Archives: Uncategorized

Happy New Year and Last Chance to Receive a Seed in the Mail

Happy Holidays!

I’ve really enjoyed mailing seeds to those of you who are reaching out to me. What seeds are you planting in your life and work in 2019?

This is the last chance to let me know if you’d like me to mail you a seed. No strings attached. See the info below if you you’d like one. =)

You can use your seed as a symbol of positive things you’ll plant for yourself in 2019 or simply grow something that creates joy for you in your home or place of business.

Happy New Year to you! I wish you a wonderful, abundant 2019!! “See” you on the other side!

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We are caught in a flurry of activity around the holidays, and it can sometimes feel overwhelming.

On top of that, it’s cold outside and life is dying around many of us in the country during this time of year. Plants and animals go dormant, and that can make us feel less than lively ourselves.

What better to combat the “busy” with a bit of mindfulness and experiencing the wonder of watching something come to life! Allow yourself the opportunity to wonder.

Rumi, the famous Persian poet said, “Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.”

Plant and observe a seed. Watch the emerging little sprout demonstrate the wonder of the beginning of life.No one knows how all this works. It’s a creative spark of life in the universe.

If you’d like a seed, here’s what to do:

1.) Send me an email at patriciabrawley@earthlink.net with your name and address.
2.) Write ” Seed” in the topic line. It’ s as easy as that.

I’ll send you one (not going to tell you what kind of seed it is!). It”ll be surprise. You’ll find out when it starts to come to life.

This offer is available from now until December 31, 2018.

Experience the Magic of a Seed – A Free Gift to You

We are caught in a flurry of activity around the holidays, and it can sometimes feel overwhelming.

On top of that, it’s cold outside and life is dying around many of us in the country during this time of year. Plants and animals go dormant, and that can make us feel less than lively ourselves.

What better to combat the “busy” with a bit of mindfulness and experiencing the wonder of watching something come to life! Allow yourself the opportunity to wonder.

Rumi, the famous Persian poet said, “Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.”

Plant and observe a seed. Watch the emerging little sprout demonstrate the wonder of the beginning of life.No one knows how all this works. It’s a creative spark of life in the universe.

If you’d like a seed, here’s what to do:

1.) Send me an email at patriciabrawley@earthlink.net with your name and address.
2.) Write ” Seed” in the topic line. It’ s as easy as that.

I’ll send you one (not going to tell you what kind of seed it is!). It”ll be surprise. You’ll find out when it starts to come to life.

This offer is available from now until December 31, 2018.

The Taboo at the Holiday Table – Grief, Love, and the Holidays

Difficulty is all around us. For some, it’s concentrated to one area of life — like a challenging task or difficult relationship — and for others, it seems to pervade every area of life — like when we are depressed or have sickness in the family.

And sometimes even just starting any day can be a challenge.

Holidays present challenges. It may be the first year without a loved one. It may be that you are anticipating someone else’s or your own death. This is called anticipatory grief.

There are other challenges for millions of people at holiday times that are bound to secrecy and anger or shame. Warning! I’m going deep here for a minute. Imagine sitting at the dinner table with a family member who molested you as a child. Imagine being the person who is the black sheep of the family who cannot forget the humiliation from numerous mistreatments. Their feelings are valid, and there is nothing taboo about feeling.

Of course, despite this, holidays are tinged with happiness and a sense of magic. It is true that we can have a mixture of feelings. There’s no right way. You may find comfort in being with lots of family. You may want to skip the holiday this year and do something different or nothing at all.

You may wonder who you are without your loved one. Our identity seems blurred. But, just like the story in “It’s a Wonderful Life” you have a place in the world. You matter. You touch people. You don’t have to feel happy but we all know nothing stays the same.

Here are 4 tips for finding your way back to happiness:

1.) If you have a loved one who has passed on, create a loving memory list about your loved one (person or animal). I suggest doing this alone when you will not be disturbed but I can imagine a family doing this together too. Think of the person you have lost and pay attention to your feelings. When you are ready, begin writing memories of that person. Jot your words down quickly; sketches of memories. When you have a list, go back and add in as much detail as you can. For example, “we were sitting on the porch during a rain storm in June…”. At the end of the list, write “Thank you.”

2.) Remember you are not a machine or a robot. You are human and we can have powerful emotions, sometimes even overwhelming. Discovering a movie, song, story, poem or piece of art that exudes a sense of empathy that lets you know others have felt as you do makes us feel less alone. Play music and sing or hum along.

“One thing you can’t hide—is when you’re crippled inside.” —John Lennon

3.) If routine and tradition bring you comfort, don’t reinvent the wheel. If you want to “take a break” from tradition this year, do it. If you want to do something completely different this year, have fun. Use this quote as a mantra: “It always seems impossible until it is done.” ~Nelson Mandela

4.) Talk to someone who will let you vent and not tell you what to do or what they would do.

Free Yourself From Chronic Fear

Do you have a story or vision of yourself / your life that you’ve never lived out but you’ve always wanted to?

What holds you back? Could it be one of the four reasons listed below?

1. Is your fear relevant? Does it make sense? Maybe you can tone it down. Shakespeare said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

2. Leave yourself some room to come to your own conclusions about your life. Maybe you’ve been afraid to write that book, but now you realize that ‘s not what you really want to do but you’ve been afraid to admit it to yourself. We can change our minds.

3. Besides you, does anyone care about your fears? I can tell you, the answer is yes. I say that because people relate to the stories we tell. This is true even about scary stuff. Sharing your story/vision about your feelings on ____ (fill in the blank) in a story, poem, or conversation is a quick way to change the feeling because there will be someone who understands.

4. Is your soul shining through your fears? If you have a fear of doing something that you feel you need to do, want to do, and have a passion for and you want it really badly, but it’s stopped by fear of “what if”, that’s tragic.

There are two voices competing for your mind. One is the internal critic voice and the other is your champion voice. The critic is demanding and impedes your progress and weakens your resolve. If the internal critic is stronger, you will feel overwhelmed, fearful, and hopeless.

The good news: you can take away the critic’s power.

Here are some tips:

1. Keep other’s opinions of your dreams/work in the category of “not personal.” People have different tastes. So what?!

2. Remember, fear of success can bring up other fears, such fear of resentments from others. That’s not for you to plan your life around.

3. If you receive feedback see it as just that – feedback. It may be constructive, encouraging, or spark your internal critic.

4. Develop a process to deal with fears.

Do it in chunks. If you want to write, do it in 10-minute chunks. Start exercising? 10 minute chunk of time. Looking to move? Search real estate 10 minutes a day.

If your mind goes blank, just write or type XXX and keep going.

Write a note to yourself each evening about what you want to start with tomorrow. Your brain will create solutions during the night.

Protect Your Energy with Boundaries Planner – Free Download

Now is the season we start to plan more. There is Thanksgiving and Halloween, Christmas and a New Year to plan for. And then, there is your life stretched thin doing all that planning.

I am giving, yes giving, away a Planner that will help you put things in order. It’s actually called How to Protect Your Energy with Boundaries, so it is good for your overall health.

It’s actually called How to Protect Your Energy with Boundaries so it is good for your overall health.

In it are ways to create your Vision Board, brainstorm your life goals and put them into your life.

The planner uses the word “business” which helps you see your business goals. Feel free to substitute the words “my life” or your own word. It really is applicable to you no matter your definition.

Ironically, as I was writing to you about planning, a hurricane was brewing in the Gulf of Mexico. My night classes were cancelled and we made a grocery store run to plan for the unexpected. I thought, “How interesting! Life can feel like a hurricane, but if we plan our life, that can help us stay focused and out of the crazy of the storm.”

I should write “plan for hurricains” into my planner! Thankfully, we are safe and all is well now. Back to the plan.

Please download your free planner here. If you like it, pass it on to your friends and loved ones.

10 Ways to Treat PTSD

You’ve heard the term PTSD since Vietnam. That’s when the medical and psychological communities began learning about it and how to treat it. Yes, it is treatable!

Depending on the severity, you may be able to treat it on your own. If not, there is help out there for you. If you or someone you know is experiencing PTSD so severely that it has caused you to consider suicide, self-harm, or harming others, please seek help immediately from a professional. It’s difficult to impossible to handle this on your own.

There is no one way to treat anything. Everyone is different, so different tools will work for different people. Here are a few approaches that work for most people.

1. Narrative therapy
2. EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
3. Art therapy
4. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
5. Pet Bonding, such as dog or equine therapy
6. Journaling/writing/poems
7. Eco-Therapy (nature inspired)
8. Biofeedback
9.. Mindfulness Practice / Meditation Practice
10. Yoga/Exercise

A FREE ART THERAPY EXERCISE – COLOR YOUR WORLD

One (very easy) therapy is coloring. You can let go of all thoughts when you are coloring and just enjoy the simple act.

As an act of love and healing, I created a wonderful coloring book for you to download. Adults or children can use it. Just print the coloring book, grab your favorite crayons or markers, and color your world!

DOWNLOAD COLORING BOOK.

Ways to Heal the Childhood Hurt

This month’s feature article, “Did you have a bad childhood?” was all about adverse childhood effects and their long-term impact.

BUT there are LOTS of techniques that can be used as methods to heal the pain and hardship trauma creates by channeling your energy and thoughts into something that brings you peace and joy.

Some calming activities include breath work, neurofeedback, guided imagery, creative arts expression and narrative interventions that foster a sense of autonomy and self-control.

These are practices that can be implemented by your therapist. If you’re not familiar with these, Google them. They are powerful! If you are a therapist, you can use these techniques with your clients.

Other calming activities include tai chi, exercise, volunteering, yoga and other mindfulness-based activities, and progressive muscle relaxation. Talk therapy can challenge internalized oppression.

COLOR YOUR WORLD

One (very easy) therapy is coloring. You can let go of all thoughts when you are coloring and just enjoy the simple act.

DOWNLOAD YOUR COLORING BOOK.

Did you have a bad childhood?

Trauma comes in many forms, and we probably all have suffered through something in our own childhood that we are still dealing with now.

It’s bound to happen. We are born with our own personalities, strengths, and weaknesses and we grow up dealing with all of that plus the product of whatever our parents went through.

Some level of trauma is relatively normal. And then there’s excessive trauma that can lead to long-term adverse effects.

Many of our issues / traumas are the product of something that we went through or witnessed in our childhood. It’s important to know that and identify it because that’s where the healing begins!

So, I’m going to give you a super short lesson on that here, so you can start to identify it and heal traumas in your own life and those that are near and dear to you. Here goes.

What are Adverse Childhood Events defined medically?

Adverse Childhood Events are defined as traumatic or stressful events that children endure between birth and age 18. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) lists the following specific traumatic events as ACEs.

Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Physical Neglect
Emotional Neglect
Intimate Partner Violence
Mother Treated Violently
Substance misuse Within Household
Household Mental Illness
Parental Separation or Divorce
Incarcerated Household Member
Parental Attachment Injury
Parental Institutionalization

Do any of these ring any bells for you?

Current studies suggest a strong correlation between high ACE scores and increased levels of life dysregulation (impairment to your body, psychological, or emotional processes), including the potential repetition of the initial ACEs themselves. You have most likely seen examples of this in your life. A friend had an abusive parent and then starting abusing their kids in adult life.

Children who suffer adverse childhood effects have a greater risk of disease, disabilities and early mortality. ACEs can interfere with development in ways that can be seen across the lifespan. Specifically, negative life outcomes are:

early initiation of alcohol and tobacco use that can be continued into adulthood
prescription drug use
lifetime illicit drug use
drug dependency
self-reported addiction
suicide attempts
lifetime depressive episodes
sleep disturbances in adults
high-risk sexual behavior
fetal mortality
negative pregnancy outcomes
mental health disorders, including mood, anxiety and behavior disorders.
a marked increase in the prevalence of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder

Adverse childhood experiences accounts for approximately 30% of the nation’s known mental health disorders. The Center for Disease Control lists ACEs as a significant public health concern and considers them to be a prime determinant of health.

According to research presented in 2017, individuals who have an ACE score of 4 or more are 1,500% more likely to commit suicide than are their counterparts. Individuals with ACE scores of 4 or more are 550 percent more likely to suffer from alcoholism, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), liver disease and asthma. Individuals with an ACE score or 6 or higher can potentially see their life expectancy drop by as much as 20 years.

Basically, the worse the childhood trauma is, the more likely they are to suffer long-term consequences with lasting effects.

In addition, hormonal implications of stress and ACEs have the potential to permanently alter the stress response. This response is linked to many diseases, such as heart disease, diabetes, stroke, asthsma, various cancers, irritable bowel, viral illnesses, alzheimer’s dementia, vascular dementia, depression and other mental health disorders.

Because of the drastic impact adverse childhood trauma can have, we want our children to have as stable of a life as possible or get treated as early as possible if they need help.

The good news is it’s not all gloom and doom! With therapy and by practicing life skills that help with coping and healing, individuals can work through these effects and have a good life.

There is more about techniques in my blog post Ways to Heal the Childhood Hurt.

**Some of the information on long-term adverse childhood effects was adapted from Baldwin, D. (Feb. 20180. What new counselors need to know about adverse childhood experiences. Counseling Today.

Change ONE Habit and Achieve Your Goals

And here we are in June!

Last summer I sent you pictures of my wee raised bed garden with a few plants. I had a moderate level of success at best. That’s the photo here on the left.

You’ll laugh when I tell you that I changed just ONE thing and got unstuck!

I created one new habit. I water the garden daily. Doesn’t that sound like “duh”… but for some reason I had believed that once-in-a while watering was good enough. I learned the hard way it wasn’t, but it didn’t take a huge change to get better results. And, I like watering in late evenings.

Why am I telling you this? Because it is likely you are struggling with something, too. I want to encourage you. I want you to consider that struggle is a habit that can be changed. Watch out for habits of thinking, “I can’t. It’s hard. I don’t know how. I’m not good enough.”, etc. They will sabotage your success.

Look what’s happening now!

What I’ve learned is our current habits have helped us achieve our current level of success.

If we want to level up, as they say, we have to develop new habits that support that success.

I think you will agree, when you really wanted to do something in life, you found a way. If you didn’t, you found excuses.

When I decided to go back to college, I was divorced with three young children and no job. One child was a 9-month-old baby.

Some things fell into place. My mother helped out, and I always worked 3 jobs. I found a way. When I thought I would never want a Master’s degree, I changed my mind and I found a way.

Later, when I wanted a PhD, I got a lot of resistance from others. Why do you want to do that? It costs too much. On and on. Yes, it did cost a lot. More than I want to tell you! But, the feeling of achieving my goal, my personal sense of accomplishment is not measurable. I didn’t do it for anyone but myself, but now I get to share everything I learned as an offering, a gift to those who are on their journey, too.

What habit can you develop that can help move you forward?

If you need a boost, check out my Moving Past Stuck exercise.

Remember, all I am doing is watering my garden daily. What one thing can you do daily for your life? You can do this!

Are You in Love With Old Stories?

Emma was a successful business owner who always told herself, “I’m not good with money.” She used this story as an excuse to not pay attention to the numbers in her business. She was constantly behind on her taxes and she procrastinated getting an LLC set up, even though she knew it would protect her.

But one day, a friend and fellow business owner called out Emma on what she was saying. Her friend told her that this story was holding her back from the next level of success. It was Emma’s way of playing small and staying safe.

What’s Your Story?

Every day, people create narratives about their lives. These are the stories they tell themselves about who they are, where they came from, and what they want.

Maybe you believe you’re a messy person. Saying that you’re messy means you don’t have to be responsible for cleaning up. Or perhaps you say, “I just don’t like people. They drive me crazy. I’m a hermit, this is just how I am.”

What Are You Gaining from This Story?

You can’t shed an old story until you understand why you keep holding onto it. For example, if you tell yourself you’re a hermit, you don’t have to step out of your comfort zone and get to know people. This story feels like it’s keeping you safe because you don’t have to risk getting to know other people.

Maybe your story helps you avoid responsibility. If you insist that you’re too disorganized to run a business, then you don’t have to take responsibility for turning your hobby into the business you’ve always dreamed of.

What Would Happen If You Let This Story Go?

If you’ve identified a story in your own life that isn’t serving you, ask yourself what would happen if you let it go. If you decide that you’re no longer a hermit, how would your life change? Would you start reaching out to the people around you? Would you build a wide network of friends that are eager to support and love on you?

If you decide that you can become organized and run your own business, what would that look like for you? Would you be able to pay off your debts and help your spouse quit that job he hates? Would you be able to send your kids to that private school you’ve always hoped they could attend?

Why New Stories Energize You

Emma took her friend’s words to heart and she got started creating a new story. She hired a bookkeeper so she knows exactly how much she earns. She started paying her taxes on time so she’s not behind anymore. She even filed for that LLC license she needed. Now, Emma doesn’t feel stressed about numbers. This means she’s free to spend her time on creating more products for the community she loves serving.

Letting go of old stories sets you free. It gives you energy and makes you see the world in a new way. It also helps you create space for more of what you love and want in your life.

If you need help with healing something or finding balance in your life, get information or schedule your own Discovery Session with me HERE.

The Muses Kiss

Therapeutic Writing to Peacefully Navigate Life's Changes