Category Archives: Self Love

BARIATRIC SURGERY – THE UGLY SIDE THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT

I am noticing more and more that weight loss surgery as a solution for obesity is all the rage. It used to be that only people severely obese (on the verge of death due to major health complications and no ability to exercise anymore) would have Bariatric surgery performed to save their life. Its original purpose was to help save lives of those who were struggling severely and had no other options.

Today, there are young people and relatively healthy people having this operation and they sometimes weigh in at 250 or less pounds.

While these operations can be a really good option for folks who really need it, they should not be used as an easy way out of weight loss for healthy people who still have the ability to exercise and diet and lose weight using other tools.

What people do not realize is that there may be major psychological, social, and spiritual affects (depending on your own belief systems).

In the United States, we’ve developed a system of psychological evaluation to address the reasons why someone is having the surgery and test their mental competence, but it can be difficult to impossible to predict what will happen to a person following the operation. The body is not the same as it was before. Drastic physical and emotional changes occur within the body following Bariatric surgery.

Patients have to be extremely disciplined and militant in their self-care following these operations to just live a relatively normal life. The reason is there are going to be vitamin deficiencies and limitations in the body that were not previously there. That means they have to have regular vitamin injections and eat several times a day with extremely small portions among other things like further psychological evaluation and support after the operation. They may be told that they cannot exert themselves like they used to because they could deplete the small amount of water or vitamins they ingest in the small portions they are now forced to live with.

Most patients who decide to go through with the operation may say they are committed to all of this, but are they?

Let’s think realistically. We have busy lives and live in a society that is constantly busy and offers limited time for breaks at work or even at home. This makes it very challenging to stay on top of special diets and other practices that are suddenly part of life post op. And, if someone didn’t do a good job of disciplined dieting and exercise before the operation, it’s not likely they will follow a stringent plan after surgery either, and not doing so could cause major damage to the body and even become fatal.

People who choose to do these operations are choosing to give themselves a health condition with life-long consequences, and they need to be aware of that.

There are hormonal changes related to vitamin deficiencies that could even push people into old age.

There can be profound psychological impacts, some of which are still unknown.

What does the mother with 3 kids do when she has run out of energy and can’t keep up with her kids because she can’t consume enough nutrients?

Further, some people are traveling to other countries to have these operations performed for less money, but the healthcare is not as good and the pre and post op activities are not nearly as stringent as they are in the U.S. They cannot be held liable if they cut too much away or do something that causes a major internal infection in the stomach.

Let’s also take a step back and think about what happens physically, emotionally, and spiritually as well.

To put this into perspective, we have a second brain in our gut. Our gut brain is directly connected to our real brain via the Vagus nerve that runs through the body. When we are excited, scared, angry, nervous, in love, or making major decisions, we always feel it in our gut, right? When our bodies go into fight or flight mode to protect us, we release adrenaline that is felt in the gut. So, what happens when we cut away 80% of our guts, which is the system our body was designed with to process nutrition AND emotion?

Patients simply may not have the capacity to have the stamina or health level they were able to achieve prior to the bypass.

It’s no surprise that losing tons of weight in a rapid amount of time would have a psychological impact on patients. However, it isn’t known how deep that rabbit hole can go. We do not have all the stats we need yet, and there are variables involved as well, so information is not being publicized enough. Medical information around these procedures is in its infancy.

That said, it has been known for years that stomach surgery for obesity frequently has long-term neuropsychiatric effects including Wernicke’s and other encephalopathies (Neurology 1987;37 196-200), depression and substitute addiction.

In the relatively small number of cases I’ve observed, there were instances of stomach infections and other stomach and digestion-related health issues on top of deficiencies. This even resulted in death for some.

The body simply cannot operate the way it did before in many cases. This makes logical sense, as the amount of water that can be ingested by a human who hasn’t had this operation is drastically reduced after because of the size of the stomach. So, people have to choose to eat or drink and have expressed that they are either hungry or thirsty most of the time. This means nutrients is not handled the same way it used to be and that can cause the immune system to have to work harder as well.

Please understand that I am not judging. If you’ve had this operation or your loved one has, please don’t be angry with me. This operation has saved lives of people who would have died from high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and a number of other heart and health complications. I get that.

All I am saying is people need to consider choosing surgery ONLY when they absolutely need to have it and not as a means to lose weight faster or look more beautiful or handsome. Doing that is like burning the whole house down because it’s a mess. There are many options out there for weight loss, which include dealing with the emotional component of eating as well.

I have a short course about dealing with emotional eating, which you can find HERE.

There is still MUCH more work to be done in researching and documenting long-term effects of weight loss surgery. Below are some links to articles on the subject.

(Current Opinion in Psychiatry: September 2014 – Volume 27 – Issue 5 – p 374–379),
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201611/the-mental-health-struggles-weight-loss-surgery)

self-harm (https://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/894158, https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/Psychological_aspects_of_bariatric_surgery), new-onset mania (Psychiatry Investig. 2015 Jan; 12(1): 152–154.),

and vitamin B1 and B12 deficiencies
(https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamaneurology/fullarticle/786290).

**This article should not be used to treat or diagnose any condition related to bariatric surgery. This is written from one perspective based on observation and personal opinion as well as some research. You should seek medical advice from your doctor if you are considering this type of operation.

The Importance of Being Happy First

We have a list of things in our head at all times about what will make us happy…. “If only this would happen…” or “when that happens…”, I’ll be happy. Do you really want to put happiness on hold until those things are satisfied?

In this article, I am going to use writing as an example, but you can fill in your own blank about what you want to happen. Writing more, writing better or–fill in-the blank — will NOT make you happy if you aren’t happy now.

That’s not to say that implementing something you love won’t help you walk down the road to happiness, but you can’t expect an immediate cure for unhappiness.

It pains me to write this. The reason is we keep changing our goal posts. We want more.

Check out this TED talk about the importance of being happy first . Shawn Achor has done lots of research on the topic and I find his evidence convincing. Writing more is not going to make you happier, but giving yourself time to do things for yourself and others (offering help to others, meditating, gardening, taking a long walk) will likely make you happier, therefore, a better writer.

It’s better to do something to work toward your goal a little bit every day than a whole lot of things on an inconsistent basis.

Michael Ferris Smith said his novels started with one sentence or one idea and he wrote every day letting his mind create the story. When someone asked when he thought of a character or scene, he said “When I thought of it.”

Whatever you are working towards (writing, exercise, cleaning out a dresser drawer), start with 5 minutes a day. This takes away your argument that you don’t have time. You may come up with other arguments but try it. It becomes a habit and you will feel successful (and could decide to do moreJ

In general, the best time to do your thing is first thing in the morning. I can hear you groaning. Your energy and focus may be in the evening. But there are legitimate reasons to try the morning time. Your creative brain is awake, you have more energy, you’re in a better mood, and you’ll feel good all day about fitting in your 5 minutes.

Depending upon your goal, give yourself permission to “just do it.” without being perfect. If you are writing a story, write a paragraph and allow it to simmer in your mind during the day. It is likely you may rewrite that paragraph every day during your 5 minutes. Give yourself time to rewrite without feeling guilty about rewriting. The best writers in the world are always the best re-writers. This applies to art, dancing, cooking, and such.

The bottom line is that when we are happy, we are better at whatever we do. What do you know would make you happy if you gave it a little time and energy each day?

Choosing the Right People In Your Life is Like Coming Home

It’s hard to think of something that is not made better when enjoyed with others who love you. It’s like coming home. Or, if home is not so inviting, think of coming home to a place where it’s refreshing and you feel wonderful to be there.

Sharing your thoughts and ideas flows easily with these people, and you feel safe. You don’t have to think or worry about what you say because you know they love you for who you are, and they embrace whatever you share.

You may often think about each other at the same time and pick up the phone to call them and send a text only to hear that they were thinking of you too.

You are “in sync” with these people in your life. You may even feed off each other’s energy to attract even more synchronicity.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we had that relationship with everyone we interact with?

Your favorite people can boost you up and other not-so-favorite people can put that little black cloud over your head leaving you feeling awful and depressed, right? You know who they are. Compare the two groups: one makes you feel more motivated to try new things and the other group dishes out doubt about what you can be and do. These people can be found in your social media groups, too.

You can choose. You can choose something new.

In the next couple of days, become aware and notice how people impact you. How do you feel after spending time with people and groups you are involved in? Scan your body to identify tension, feelings of heaviness, depression, lightness, relaxation or nothing at all. Do your thoughts change? Is there something you won’t say to some people because you know they will tell you it’s wrong? Like I said, you have a choice.

Being aware is part of the choice. If you can identify who stirs up a down feeling, note it but don’t buy into it. Choose friends and make new ones that lighten your mood. They make it fun to share ideas and dreams.

You’ll love being a part of a group or having friends that are positive. Another side of yourself will start showing up in life. And when you do this, you’ll be amazed by the positive ways synchronicity shows up in your life.

Here’s my invitation: practice awareness and check your responses to different people. You may want to choose new friends who support you. It’s allowed. You have permission!

Your muse with the purple glasses.

3 Reasons Why You Can’t Get Into Productivity Mode

Whether you are at work or at home, there’s always something productive you can be doing. But some days, you may find it difficult to get into your normal work rhythm even when you know you need to. You may feel distracted and struggle to focus on your tasks. You may experience headaches or dizziness. You might also be feeling fatigued.

Instead of giving up and watching Netflix for the next few hours, it can helpful to check in with your body. When you stop to check in with yourself, you may find that a simple fix is all that’s required for getting back into your normal productive mode.

Here are three things that can disrupt your natural work flow:

Your body is hungry. When you’re hungry, it’s hard to think things through and that makes decision making difficult. That’s why it’s important that you take time to nourish your body. You wouldn’t set out on a road trip with an empty gas tank so don’t expect your body to perform at its very best when you’re denying it much needed fuel.

You can easily remedy this situation by getting something to eat. But steer clear of sugary snacks. They may give you a temporary burst of energy but that energy will be gone within a couple of hours, leaving your body just as hungry as before. Instead, try to opt for healthier snacks that contain plenty of protein like a handful of nuts or a serving of lean chicken breast.

Your thoughts are scattered. You go to work on one project but get distracted by another one. Then you decide to check your email and catch up on your social media updates. Before you know it, you have twelve different activities open on your screen.

When this happens, you might be experiencing a lack of focus. You have so many ideas and tasks that you don’t know where to start working. In this case, it’s best to pause and make a list. Write down everything you need to accomplish today or this week. Then prioritize these projects by numbering them. Your most important task should be number one so after you’re finished with your list, start there.

Your body is exhausted.There are many things that can cause you to feel exhausted besides a lack of sleep. Emotional stress, illness, chronic pain, and other problems can deplete your energy. When you’re exhausted, it’s hard to work on your business.

The best way to tackle exhaustion is to practice self-care. Look at your life and ask yourself what you really need right now. You might need a day off. You might need a sitter to help watch your kids while you work.

You might need to let go of stressful clients or remove projects that aren’t a good fit for your talents. Don’t hesitate to give yourself what you need. If you take good care of yourself, you’ll find it easier to nurture your business.

It’s important that you take time to check in with your mind and body a few times each day. When you do this regularly, you’ll begin to notice your body’s rhythms and be able to plan your work around them.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE WORKBOOK THAT ACCOMPANIES THIS ARTICLE AND FIND OUT WHAT’S STANDING BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PRODUCTIVITY.

Live Your Life Boldly! Spring Into Action.

British adventurist Sir Ranulph Fiennes has been called the world’s greatest living explorer. He’s navigated some of the world’s most challenging and inhospitable places on earth including trekking the Antarctic and both North and South Poles, unsupported and on foot.

When he was in his 60’s, Fiennes decided to overcome a severe fear of heights by climbing Mt. Everest. On his second attempt, hundreds of feet short of the summit, he suffered severe chest pains. It was night time, and he was dangling from a rope on a near vertical ice wall at 29,000 feet above the ground. Frozen and in pain, he turned around and somehow managed to descend. He lived to tell the tale, running a marathon a mere 16 weeks after his near fatal heart attack.

When it comes to facing your fears, how daring are you? Do you turn tail and head in the opposite direction? Do you waver and hope the feeling passes? Or, do you, like Fiennes, stand firm and always face your fears head on?

Picture what your life would look like if you consistently faced off against your fears, both big and small, with the fearlessness of someone like Sir Ranulph Fiennes. What would it feel like to boldly stare down and confront your fears,,never letting them interfere with what you want to accomplish? Imagine what you could achieve if you never again let fear get in your way.

“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.” C. Joy Bell C.

For example, fear can make us hesitate, procrastinate, experience creative blocks, and be averse to risk. All of this can lead to low accomplishment, which can cause stress. That stress can lead to cognitive impairment, an increased risk of heart disease, premature aging, relationship conflicts, depression, and more – and a cycle of fear is born. That cycle can leave us feeling like we’re just going through the motions of life without really living.

“My life has been filled with terrible misfortune most of which never happened.”
Michel de Montaigne

The remedy for our childhood fear of monsters lurking under the bed was to shine a light into the darkness. Once we did, it revealed the truth – there were no monsters. Once we shine the light of truth at what scares us, we often discover our fears to be unfounded.

Remember there is nothing to fear but fear itself and, if you’ve been living in fear, it’s time to spring into action in your life!

If you would like more specifics on how to overcome your fears, read my tips about that in my article below “How to Overcome Your Fears”.

My Gift to You During Love Month

CLICK HERE OR ON THE IMAGE BELOW TO DOWNLOAD YOUR VALENTINE’S DAY COLORING BOOK PACK

Make Your Inner Child Your Valentine

What I feel in my body does not match how I feel in my mind. It comes as a shock to let the number of my age surface to consciousness. How can this be? I still feel like I’m 18 years old some days.

Sure, I know I’ve transitioned though many developmental stages and my body has changed, but it seems my spirit is still young-at-heart.

Wayne Dyer used to say he would never let an old person into his body. What he meant was determining not to “think old.”

We all want to stay young and vibrant, so make your inner child your valentine this year and it could change how you feel about everything in your life.

Here are a few tips to keep a young-at-heart attitude despite the number of candles on your cake this year!

1. Have a happy childhood (even if you didn’t). Watch children playing and notice how totally involved they are in what they are doing; running everywhere they go. They have no idea of what they will face in their future lives. You were once like that too. Now, recapture the feelings of wide-eyed excitement, experience fully spontaneous awe of everything alive. Cut loose.
I recently was called to evaluate a 96-year-old woman who said she was depressed and thinking about death. Not to be unfeeling, but I told her to give herself permission to cut loose, live it up and have fun.

2 Laugh every day, particularly when someone asks the impossible from you. For example, your boss wants over the moon from you. Slap your knee and laugh while saying, “He wants me to do 10 hours work on my lunch hour!” Of course, you won’t do 10 hours work on your lunch hour, but you will do what you can with a better attitude.

Sometimes, I feel like giving this advice to couples (but I don’t). Slap your knee and laugh while saying “I’ve gone and married someone the exact opposite of me! (again) I’m spending all this time trying to make him/her into a clone of myself as though he’s made of play dough. Give it up, girl.”

3. Say yes! If you ask a young child if they can do something like drive or cook an egg, they will say they can and believe it. Somewhere in our growing up people tell us we can’t do things. Then, we believe them and carry on the conversation in our heads. This is frequently called “the critic”, especially if you are a writer.

So, catch yourself before you say “no” to your dreams. Try, “Probably”. Or “Sure!”

Feeling young-at heart yet?

No, you still can’t jump on the bed. Well, maybe just this once.

DON’T Set Goals in 2019. Do this instead.

Here we are again. It is a new year with a wide horizon of dreams for you to choose from. What are your dreams for this year? Notice, I did not ask you what goals you set. I don’t have anything against goals but I think the dream comes first. Within the dream the pathways appear to reach your dream.

For the first time in a loooong time, I have purposely not set the same tired goals: lose weight, earn more money, clean my house, etc. Why?

I’d love to have them but I heard another therapist say that we (therapists) should not accept our client’s setting a goal to lose weight because we know from all the research, people suffer, fail, and end up feeling worse.

However, when it is stated as something to gain, like: “Become healthier, fit and strong.” Or “I’m in control of my choices.”, we are more successful in achieving it. Instead of a goal, let’s examine our true motivation.

Then, we’re not tied to an outcome around money and pounds. If happiness is measured by how much, we never have enough. Who want’s that?
So, I’m dropping the goal of losing weight and adding more of other things like acceptance of who I am and gratefulness.

I might decide, instead, that I want to avoid emotional eating this year and accept my weight for what it is right now knowing I want to make some healthy choices and see where it takes me.

It’s freeing. =)

Happy New Year and Last Chance to Receive a Seed in the Mail

Happy Holidays!

I’ve really enjoyed mailing seeds to those of you who are reaching out to me. What seeds are you planting in your life and work in 2019?

This is the last chance to let me know if you’d like me to mail you a seed. No strings attached. See the info below if you you’d like one. =)

You can use your seed as a symbol of positive things you’ll plant for yourself in 2019 or simply grow something that creates joy for you in your home or place of business.

Happy New Year to you! I wish you a wonderful, abundant 2019!! “See” you on the other side!

*******************************************************************************

We are caught in a flurry of activity around the holidays, and it can sometimes feel overwhelming.

On top of that, it’s cold outside and life is dying around many of us in the country during this time of year. Plants and animals go dormant, and that can make us feel less than lively ourselves.

What better to combat the “busy” with a bit of mindfulness and experiencing the wonder of watching something come to life! Allow yourself the opportunity to wonder.

Rumi, the famous Persian poet said, “Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.”

Plant and observe a seed. Watch the emerging little sprout demonstrate the wonder of the beginning of life.No one knows how all this works. It’s a creative spark of life in the universe.

If you’d like a seed, here’s what to do:

1.) Send me an email at patriciabrawley@earthlink.net with your name and address.
2.) Write ” Seed” in the topic line. It’ s as easy as that.

I’ll send you one (not going to tell you what kind of seed it is!). It”ll be surprise. You’ll find out when it starts to come to life.

This offer is available from now until December 31, 2018.

Experience the Magic of a Seed – A Free Gift to You