Category Archives: Getting Clear

Blessing and Meditation Practice for You

Blessing someone and ourselves costs nothing and gives a great return. You will feel better, more open and compassionate.Give this gift to yourself or someone else who needs it.

Below are some phrases I put together for you.

Pick 3 to start and say them silently. Start with saying the phrase to yourself, such as, “May I be happy and peaceful.” Next think of someone you love and think “May ____ be happy and peaceful.” Next, think of someone you know casually, such as the cashier you see every week, and say to yourself, “May________ be happy and peaceful.” If you want to stretch yourself, choose someone you have a grudge toward or don’t like and ask that they be happy and peaceful, too.

Move on to your next phrase and repeat the exercise.

Start with 3 phrases, and either build to more or switch to another three phrases as you continue your practice.

May I be happy and peaceful.
May I be safe and protected.
May I be healthy and strong.
May I have ease of mind and heart.
May I be free from suffering.
May I be kind to myself.
May I trust my goodness.
May I love and accept myself just as I am.
May I live with ease and good health.
And be filled with loving-kindness.

How to Make Time for What’s Important to You

Whether you are the boss, the parent, the person starting a new business or relationship, it’s never too late to plan how you want things to work out. We lead busy lives. There’s always more to do, so it is easy to get bogged down in day-to-day living and forget to learn, create and plan a vision for your business and life. And yet, others such as your employees, co-workers, family members depend on your ability to set the plan and lead the way.

It is reported that Bill Gates takes a week off every three months for thinking. He goes to a retreat alone to review and renew. Benjamin Franklin wrote that he liked his trips across the Atlantic because he gained perspective. C. S. Lewis would often take long walks in order to have time to think. Many people say that the one hour a day is their most productive hour of the day – when they are thinking, planning, dreaming. It’s no coincidence that these people were innovators and had a life by design.

A life by design is one your choose rather than going with the flow and doing what’s chosen for you.

You can set aside an hour a day, go on a retreat, get a perspective while on vacation or a weekend at home. Divide your planning and visioning time into two components: your business life and your personal growth. Both are essential.

Design the growth you want to see. Choose the way and develop a strategy for your future. Don’t overlook your personal development plan. A plan is important if you want to be equipped to be the person you will need to be in your future life.

Here are 3 places where you can choose to make a little time to work on your goals.

1.) In the morning. Wake up earlier or replace something in your morning routine for a while. Give yourself an extra 20 or 30 minutes or whatever you can spare to work on something a little every day.

2.) On your commute. When you are on public transportation or someone else is driving, utilize that time. If you find background noise distracting, bring headphones and play relaxing music.

3.) At night. Go to bed 20 minutes later or replace something in your night time routine.

If you need work on your time management, you may want to check out this book, Time Warrior by Steve Chandler.

If you would like help figuring out ways to help create a life by design, click here to take advantage of my free 30 minute phone consultation.

The Taboo at the Holiday Table – Grief, Love, and the Holidays

Difficulty is all around us. For some, it’s concentrated to one area of life — like a challenging task or difficult relationship — and for others, it seems to pervade every area of life — like when we are depressed or have sickness in the family.

And sometimes even just starting any day can be a challenge.

Holidays present challenges. It may be the first year without a loved one. It may be that you are anticipating someone else’s or your own death. This is called anticipatory grief.

There are other challenges for millions of people at holiday times that are bound to secrecy and anger or shame. Warning! I’m going deep here for a minute. Imagine sitting at the dinner table with a family member who molested you as a child. Imagine being the person who is the black sheep of the family who cannot forget the humiliation from numerous mistreatments. Their feelings are valid, and there is nothing taboo about feeling.

Of course, despite this, holidays are tinged with happiness and a sense of magic. It is true that we can have a mixture of feelings. There’s no right way. You may find comfort in being with lots of family. You may want to skip the holiday this year and do something different or nothing at all.

You may wonder who you are without your loved one. Our identity seems blurred. But, just like the story in “It’s a Wonderful Life” you have a place in the world. You matter. You touch people. You don’t have to feel happy but we all know nothing stays the same.

Here are 4 tips for finding your way back to happiness:

1.) If you have a loved one who has passed on, create a loving memory list about your loved one (person or animal). I suggest doing this alone when you will not be disturbed but I can imagine a family doing this together too. Think of the person you have lost and pay attention to your feelings. When you are ready, begin writing memories of that person. Jot your words down quickly; sketches of memories. When you have a list, go back and add in as much detail as you can. For example, “we were sitting on the porch during a rain storm in June…”. At the end of the list, write “Thank you.”

2.) Remember you are not a machine or a robot. You are human and we can have powerful emotions, sometimes even overwhelming. Discovering a movie, song, story, poem or piece of art that exudes a sense of empathy that lets you know others have felt as you do makes us feel less alone. Play music and sing or hum along.

“One thing you can’t hide—is when you’re crippled inside.” —John Lennon

3.) If routine and tradition bring you comfort, don’t reinvent the wheel. If you want to “take a break” from tradition this year, do it. If you want to do something completely different this year, have fun. Use this quote as a mantra: “It always seems impossible until it is done.” ~Nelson Mandela

4.) Talk to someone who will let you vent and not tell you what to do or what they would do.

Free Yourself From Chronic Fear

Do you have a story or vision of yourself / your life that you’ve never lived out but you’ve always wanted to?

What holds you back? Could it be one of the four reasons listed below?

1. Is your fear relevant? Does it make sense? Maybe you can tone it down. Shakespeare said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

2. Leave yourself some room to come to your own conclusions about your life. Maybe you’ve been afraid to write that book, but now you realize that ‘s not what you really want to do but you’ve been afraid to admit it to yourself. We can change our minds.

3. Besides you, does anyone care about your fears? I can tell you, the answer is yes. I say that because people relate to the stories we tell. This is true even about scary stuff. Sharing your story/vision about your feelings on ____ (fill in the blank) in a story, poem, or conversation is a quick way to change the feeling because there will be someone who understands.

4. Is your soul shining through your fears? If you have a fear of doing something that you feel you need to do, want to do, and have a passion for and you want it really badly, but it’s stopped by fear of “what if”, that’s tragic.

There are two voices competing for your mind. One is the internal critic voice and the other is your champion voice. The critic is demanding and impedes your progress and weakens your resolve. If the internal critic is stronger, you will feel overwhelmed, fearful, and hopeless.

The good news: you can take away the critic’s power.

Here are some tips:

1. Keep other’s opinions of your dreams/work in the category of “not personal.” People have different tastes. So what?!

2. Remember, fear of success can bring up other fears, such fear of resentments from others. That’s not for you to plan your life around.

3. If you receive feedback see it as just that – feedback. It may be constructive, encouraging, or spark your internal critic.

4. Develop a process to deal with fears.

Do it in chunks. If you want to write, do it in 10-minute chunks. Start exercising? 10 minute chunk of time. Looking to move? Search real estate 10 minutes a day.

If your mind goes blank, just write or type XXX and keep going.

Write a note to yourself each evening about what you want to start with tomorrow. Your brain will create solutions during the night.

Protect Your Energy with Boundaries Planner – Free Download

Now is the season we start to plan more. There is Thanksgiving and Halloween, Christmas and a New Year to plan for. And then, there is your life stretched thin doing all that planning.

I am giving, yes giving, away a Planner that will help you put things in order. It’s actually called How to Protect Your Energy with Boundaries, so it is good for your overall health.

It’s actually called How to Protect Your Energy with Boundaries so it is good for your overall health.

In it are ways to create your Vision Board, brainstorm your life goals and put them into your life.

The planner uses the word “business” which helps you see your business goals. Feel free to substitute the words “my life” or your own word. It really is applicable to you no matter your definition.

Ironically, as I was writing to you about planning, a hurricane was brewing in the Gulf of Mexico. My night classes were cancelled and we made a grocery store run to plan for the unexpected. I thought, “How interesting! Life can feel like a hurricane, but if we plan our life, that can help us stay focused and out of the crazy of the storm.”

I should write “plan for hurricains” into my planner! Thankfully, we are safe and all is well now. Back to the plan.

Please download your free planner here. If you like it, pass it on to your friends and loved ones.

Change ONE Habit and Achieve Your Goals

And here we are in June!

Last summer I sent you pictures of my wee raised bed garden with a few plants. I had a moderate level of success at best. That’s the photo here on the left.

You’ll laugh when I tell you that I changed just ONE thing and got unstuck!

I created one new habit. I water the garden daily. Doesn’t that sound like “duh”… but for some reason I had believed that once-in-a while watering was good enough. I learned the hard way it wasn’t, but it didn’t take a huge change to get better results. And, I like watering in late evenings.

Why am I telling you this? Because it is likely you are struggling with something, too. I want to encourage you. I want you to consider that struggle is a habit that can be changed. Watch out for habits of thinking, “I can’t. It’s hard. I don’t know how. I’m not good enough.”, etc. They will sabotage your success.

Look what’s happening now!

What I’ve learned is our current habits have helped us achieve our current level of success.

If we want to level up, as they say, we have to develop new habits that support that success.

I think you will agree, when you really wanted to do something in life, you found a way. If you didn’t, you found excuses.

When I decided to go back to college, I was divorced with three young children and no job. One child was a 9-month-old baby.

Some things fell into place. My mother helped out, and I always worked 3 jobs. I found a way. When I thought I would never want a Master’s degree, I changed my mind and I found a way.

Later, when I wanted a PhD, I got a lot of resistance from others. Why do you want to do that? It costs too much. On and on. Yes, it did cost a lot. More than I want to tell you! But, the feeling of achieving my goal, my personal sense of accomplishment is not measurable. I didn’t do it for anyone but myself, but now I get to share everything I learned as an offering, a gift to those who are on their journey, too.

What habit can you develop that can help move you forward?

If you need a boost, check out my Moving Past Stuck exercise.

Remember, all I am doing is watering my garden daily. What one thing can you do daily for your life? You can do this!

Are You in Love With Old Stories?

Emma was a successful business owner who always told herself, “I’m not good with money.” She used this story as an excuse to not pay attention to the numbers in her business. She was constantly behind on her taxes and she procrastinated getting an LLC set up, even though she knew it would protect her.

But one day, a friend and fellow business owner called out Emma on what she was saying. Her friend told her that this story was holding her back from the next level of success. It was Emma’s way of playing small and staying safe.

What’s Your Story?

Every day, people create narratives about their lives. These are the stories they tell themselves about who they are, where they came from, and what they want.

Maybe you believe you’re a messy person. Saying that you’re messy means you don’t have to be responsible for cleaning up. Or perhaps you say, “I just don’t like people. They drive me crazy. I’m a hermit, this is just how I am.”

What Are You Gaining from This Story?

You can’t shed an old story until you understand why you keep holding onto it. For example, if you tell yourself you’re a hermit, you don’t have to step out of your comfort zone and get to know people. This story feels like it’s keeping you safe because you don’t have to risk getting to know other people.

Maybe your story helps you avoid responsibility. If you insist that you’re too disorganized to run a business, then you don’t have to take responsibility for turning your hobby into the business you’ve always dreamed of.

What Would Happen If You Let This Story Go?

If you’ve identified a story in your own life that isn’t serving you, ask yourself what would happen if you let it go. If you decide that you’re no longer a hermit, how would your life change? Would you start reaching out to the people around you? Would you build a wide network of friends that are eager to support and love on you?

If you decide that you can become organized and run your own business, what would that look like for you? Would you be able to pay off your debts and help your spouse quit that job he hates? Would you be able to send your kids to that private school you’ve always hoped they could attend?

Why New Stories Energize You

Emma took her friend’s words to heart and she got started creating a new story. She hired a bookkeeper so she knows exactly how much she earns. She started paying her taxes on time so she’s not behind anymore. She even filed for that LLC license she needed. Now, Emma doesn’t feel stressed about numbers. This means she’s free to spend her time on creating more products for the community she loves serving.

Letting go of old stories sets you free. It gives you energy and makes you see the world in a new way. It also helps you create space for more of what you love and want in your life.

If you need help with healing something or finding balance in your life, get information or schedule your own Discovery Session with me HERE.

The 4 Easy Things to Do to Live Your Vision

Are you enjoying the summer yet? My garden plants are finally growing and there is always something new to see. I have a vision. Don’t you think it’s good to have a vision of what you want to do in your life and work?

Sometimes my vision of helping people seems huge and overwhelming. How many clients can I see? How many students can I teach? However, that same vision can be inspiring and restorative. When someone meets his/her goal, like when someone takes a step out into a new career, it’s all worth it.

Here are 4 things I’ve learned about living your vision.

1. Let it live. Don’t hold on so tightly to a certain way it has to happen or look. Stop saying: “One day” or “When things are right, etc.” and start saying “today”. Please look at the short video below featuring Wayne Dyer to see why this is so.

2. Break your vision down like a recipe. What are all the parts of your vision? Some items are like a pinch of salt and others are 4 cups of peeled potatoes. It is more manageable this way.

3. Get your calendar out and pencil in a baby step every day. Always make rest a baby step because good ideas come when you are walking or resting or in the shower. Remember to write them down!

4. Let the vision of your life align with your other visions / goals. Design your life to have what you want in it. Do you want to live closer to family? In a different house? Do you want more freedom, adventure, travel, quiet retreat time, or time to write?

Perhaps your vision has changed from the one you had years ago. Feel what is true for you.

When you take a step, spirit will match it.

Listen to what Wayne Dyer had to say about this in his video HERE. (This video is presented by Hay House 2017.)

If you need help with healing something or finding balance in your life, get information or schedule your own Discovery Session with me HERE.

When You Meet Your Goal

You’ve worked hard and accomplished your goal. Now, you deserve to kick back and celebrate your success. There are many ways that you can choose to celebrate.

You could buy yourself something new, which is a great way to celebrate reaching an ideal weight. You could take a day off and spend the time with your family, which is a great way to celebrate leaving your day job. You could get a relaxing massage or visit a local spa, which is a great way to celebrate the success of a difficult goal.

Create a Keepsake

You can also mark the completion of a goal with a keepsake. You could add a charm to a necklace or bracelet. You can buy an art print to hang on your wall. Some people even choose to celebrate by getting a tattoo.

The important thing is to not let your success pass you by uncelebrated. You worked hard and you deserve recognition for your hard work and personal growth.

Review Your Success

No matter how you choose to celebrate, you should also take time to review your journey. Recording your thoughts and feelings in a journal is a great way to do this.

While you’re journaling, you might want to include what made you decide to go after your goal, what worked for you, setbacks you experienced, and how you feel now.

Show Your Appreciation

Once you’ve celebrated your success, it’s time to thank your supporters. Maybe your mom watched your kids three times a week so you could make it to the gym. Maybe your spouse believed in your business when you were just starting out. Maybe you had a mentor who provided advice that helped you succeed.

You should always thank the people in your community that stood by you during the journey. But don’t stop there. Ask how you can return the blessing. Look for ways that you can support the dreams of the community that supported your dream.

Decide What’s Next

It’s not uncommon to reach a goal you’ve been after for a long time and suddenly find yourself restless. You took the time to celebrate your accomplishment and you thanked your community. But now you’re filled with energy and don’t know what to do next.

Now, you should begin looking for your next goal. It doesn’t have to be directly related to the one you just accomplished. But do pick another goal that makes you just as passionate as the one before it did.

If you don’t acknowledge your journey, then you can’t learn from it. That’s why you should always celebrate when you reach a goal. You’ve earned it.

I hope you have enjoyed my series on goal setting. Please let me know if you did and what you were able to achieve. I love to hear from you!

Click here to download the goal setting workbook.

Break Your New Goal Into Steps

Once you’ve set your mind on a goal and cleared away distractions, you’re ready to get started working. But first, you need to do some planning. When you plan in advance and use that plan, you’re more likely to succeed with your goals.

You can make a list of things to do to reach your goal. But it’s usually easier to start by evaluating what you need to make your goal a reality.

Tools or Supplies

What tools or supplies will you need in order to meet your goal? If you’re starting a blog, you’ll need a website and hosting. If you’re aiming to lose weight, you’ll need a food scale and measuring cups. If you’re starting a jewelry business, then you’ll need modeling clay to make charms and necklace thread.

You also need to consider supplies you may have forgotten about. If you’re starting a business, you may need child care. If you’re changing your diet, you may need new recipe books to help you prepare healthier meals.

Specialized Help

Sometimes, you can’t achieve your goals by yourself. That’s where specialized help comes in. Specialized help can take many forms. It might be hiring a personal trainer so you can get the toned body you want. It might be hiring a business coach to help you book enough clients to pay your bills.

Specialized help can sometimes be expensive. But if your goal is important to you, don’t be afraid to invest in it. Some coaches and trainers may be willing to work with you to develop a payment plan so be sure to ask if this is an option.

Support from Friends and Family

You can’t succeed in a bubble. In order to reach your goals, you’ll need the support of your family and friends. If your family and friends can’t be supportive, you should look for the support elsewhere.

Joining a support group or finding an online community can be helpful in these situations. Look for groups and communities that leave you feeling upbeat and are filled with people that want to achieve similar goals.

Return the Support

It’s easy to get so wrapped up in your new goal that you forget to invest in others. If you’re part of a group or community, make sure that you offer help to other members. Be willing to take time from your day to support someone else.

Now that you do know what you need in order to succeed, it’s time to go after your goal. It’s scary to take that first step, but you have to be willing to do it. Once you’ve taken that first step, you’ll experience a rush of confidence and increased motivation.