Category Archives: Balance

5 Ways to Embrace Change

Chrysalis Emerging 9cIt can be difficult to deal with when we go through transition or change in our lives.

One thing is dying and another thing is born. If we transition from one thing to another thing, we have to let the first thing go (whatever it is).

If we have a conflict, we let go of something in that (the issue or the person), and we embrace something else.

Here are 5 techniques we can use to support the release of the old to fully embrace the new.

1. Determine who has the problem. It may not be yours and you may not need to fix things.

The ancient Poet Rumi wrote:

“In that moment you are drunk on yourself
You lock yourself away in cloud after cloud of grief,
And, in that moment, you leap free of yourself.
The moon catches you and hugs you in its arms”

2. Relax your jaw. Are you holding back on what you want to say?

3. Journal out loud.  Write in your journal. Find a time when you are alone and say what you need to say out loud. Get it off your chest. Then write about that. If you’d like to receive my free therapeutic writing course, click here to check it out. 

4. Try Reiki (I did!).  My frozen right shoulder released. A totally unexpected outcome and an unexpected emotional release. Thank you, Nicole!

5. Walk a Labyrinth. I’ve talked about the beauty and spiritual significance of this simple ritual of walking a labyrinth. You meet others. Everyone chooses their own path and we all end up in the Center. A good reminder of changes during the lifespan.

The 4 Easy Things to Do to Live Your Vision

photo-1455596120412-30a2e6c8e600Are you enjoying the summer yet? My garden plants are finally growing and there is always something new to see.  I have a vision. Don’t you think it’s good to have a vision of what you want to do in your life and work?

Sometimes my vision of helping people seems huge and overwhelming. How many clients can I see? How many students can I teach?  However, that same vision can be inspiring and restorative. When someone meets his/her goal, like when someone takes a step out into a new career, it’s all worth it.

Here are 4 things I’ve learned about living your vision.  

1. Let it live. Don’t hold on so tightly to a certain way it has to happen or look.  Stop saying: “One day” or “When things are right, etc.” and start saying “today”. Please look at the short video below featuring Wayne Dyer to see why this is so.

2. Break your vision down like a recipe. What are all the parts of your vision? Some items are like a pinch of salt and others are 4 cups of peeled potatoes. It is more manageable this way.

3. Get your calendar out and pencil in a baby step every day. Always make rest a baby step because good ideas come when you are walking or resting or in the shower. Remember to write them down!

4. Let the vision of your life align with your other visions / goals. Design your life to have what you want in it. Do you want to live closer to family? In a different  house? Do you want more freedom, adventure, travel, quiet retreat time, or time to write?

Perhaps your vision has changed from the one you had years ago. Feel what is true for you.

When you take a step, spirit will match it.


Listen to what Wayne Dyer had to say about this in his video HERE. (This video is presented by Hay House 2017.)

If you need help with healing something or finding balance in your life, get information or schedule your own Discovery Session with me HERE.

Try Hopping on One Leg

one_foot_hop_discountDo you need a little balance in your life? Tired of trying to do everything standing on one leg?

I get a funny picture in my mind when I picture myself trying to get everything done hopping around on one leg. You too? It feels like the harder I try to do everything, the harder it is to see the end in sight.

What would success or “the end” of my to- do list look like? Think about this for yourself. Would we be able to move on to more projects? Would we enjoy the present moment and not wait until a time in an imagined future? Would we take good care of ourselves? What challenges would you face?

One way to look at this is to remember the 80/20 principle. This is known as the Pareto Principle, which states that 20% of what we do produces 80% of results. So, if we identify the times when we are most happy and productive (remember the 20% produces 80% of our good feelings), then we can increase whatever we are doing in the 20% category, right? Let that other stuff go. The flip side is to identify the times we are least happy and productive and reduce that as much as possible.

However, I tend to be a laid-back workaholic most days. This is not helpful when trying to find balance in work and family life. I know. I could join Workaholics Anonymous, a 12-step program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous or I could obsess about things work related, problems in living, and doing three things at once.

The answer is found in the poem, ‘The Guest House” (see above).

Welcome everything. This is what it is like to have this feeling show up, this experience linger, this thought spinning in my head.

Feel free to email me your thoughts or just say hello at patriciabrawley@earthlink.net.

Your Personal Fuel Crisis

fulfilledYou have the best intentions to take good care of yourself. You exercise, drop sugary foods from your menu choice try to sleep enough, get your nails done, etc. It can be overwhelming!

I’m defining fuel as anything that you do to sustain yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Things that fuel you feel right and good. If getting your nails done feels like a chore, it’s not fueling you!

We recognize the cliché of “running on empty”. But do you know what really fuels you?

Try This Exercise to Find Out…

Your To Do List and your To Not Do List

Try this out for a week. Take your To Do List and circle the items that are priorities. Underline the things on your list you will say NO to if it interferes with taking care of yourself and/or drains your energy.

For example, does checking your email after 4 p.m. make you feel better or worse? Do you really need to know what people want from you at 4 p.m.? Or could it wait until tomorrow morning when you have more energy?

Are there activities on your To-Do list that drain you? If you have to do them, at least choose a time of day when you are likely to breeze through the task. Delegate what you can.

As Warren Buffet says, “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything.”  We can aim to put more things on our No list. If you do this right, you should free up some of your time.

Choose self-care that makes sense for you and schedule it. That way, you’re busy and you have to say “No” to other things.

Maybe you feel energized when you take a walk in the woods or play with the cat. You may release stress when you play with the kids or snuggle with your special loved one. Working on hobbies, watching a movie, playing or just chilling out has a way of making us feel better.

Action Step: What is one thing you can say “No” to today and what is one thing you can put into your day that will fuel your mind, body, and spirit?

Think about things like fun, contemplation time, physical activity, sleep, and social connection. These kinds of activities are the fuel for your focus and productivity during the day which will allow you to leave work knowing you spent your time well.

For more great free resources visit the website HERE.

Are You Ramping Up or Ramping Down?

In thinking about what the beginning of a new year means for each of us, I observed that we always seem to either be ramping up or ramping down from something in our lives. This is especially true for consultants and business owners who struggle with balance. Have YOU ever noticed this pattern in your life?

For example, we decide at the beginning of one year that we are feeling really ambitious and are getting ready to give our all to the new initiatives that have been stewing within us and we’ve been waiting to execute. That’s our “ramp up”. We are making the decision to bring our full focus and energy to some things in our lives. We are coming at those things with full steam and expect to see quick and impactful results from our hard work.

Then, there’s the “ramp down”. The “ramp down” year seems to happen when we have been working on something (or multiple things) with everything we’ve got over some period of time, and we are tired! We have worked ourselves to the point of exhaustion this year and need to plan some restful activities to rejuvenate us and refresh and minds and bodies. And then, there are times stuff just happens in life and we don’t have any control over it. We have to take the lesson for what it is and move on.

Such is life, right? We have ups and downs, ebs and flows with everything. It’s true. But, I think there’s two things we can take away from acknowledging and embracing this fact.

First, it may be helpful to think about where your life is this year and what you expect things to look like. If you know your goals will need all the energy you can muster this year, it’s your “ramp up” year! Embrace that and plan for it! Create a reasonable schedule. Be clear on your expectations for results. If you aren’t clear, you could find yourself doing a whole lot of “busy work” for nothing. Decide what you will give yourself as a reward for all that work!  Having a why is what keeps us going! The same is true for the “ramp down”. Be clear on how you’ll wind down from what you’ve been doing during your “ramp up”. Decide what you’d like to cut down on or eliminate from your life and what you’d like to keep. Make conscious choices on how you’ll use your time and space to bring yourself into a more rested state to get ready for the next thing you want to initiate in your life.

Second, do your best to develop balance and the ebs and flows we experience in life will have less of an impact on whether or not you achieve your goals! By continuously building downtime and energizing activities into our lives, we stoke the fire that keeps our ambitions alive. Sure, it’s easier said than done. But, if we are intentional about paying attention to this, we empower ourselves to thrive no matter what comes our way in life.

Whatever your goals / purpose are for this year, be intentional, have a plan, and enjoy all the rewards life will surely send your way!

*this information does not take the place of medical treatment

3 Ways We Know Santa is Alive and Well

Tis’ the season of giving!  Now is the time of year that we all give a little more of ourselves. While you are making your list and checking it twice, there are 3 things you can do now that will set you up for an awesome 2017 and keep the spirit of Santa alive in your life.

Here they are.

1.) Give to Others. It’s for you just as much as it’s for them! During this time of year, many of us give to charity. Some people set up their budgets and plans for giving in the new year around this time as well. It really doesn’t matter if you plan as you go or you plan in advance. But, I encourage you to think about causes that mean something special to you this year and decide how you want to contribute. Giving doesn’t always have to be about money. You could give time to a school, church, or person who needs help. Your kids could shovel snow or mow the lawn for someone disabled. I’m going to sign up for ‘give an hour” program for veterans. Donate to local causes, so you can get a good understanding of how the money is being used.

When you are proactive about giving, it pays you back in a multitude of ways. First, it simply feels good to serve others. When you consciously choose the organizations you donate to, you’ll get the opportunity to see the full impact of how you are helping others. Second, you have a chance to figure out what level of giving fits into your budget and/or into your schedule and you are more likely to follow through with it. Last but not least, you can look back at how you and your family incorporated service / donations into your lives and you can make decisions about what you’d like to do in the future. Plus, you can deduct charitable expenses! There’s no better feeling in the world than stepping up to give to others instead of living with the nagging feeling that you could have done something but didn’t. So, do it to free yourself and you will immediately be more happy! Ask yourself, “What would Santa do?”.

2.) Ask yourself what gift you’d love to give YOU this year. I mentioned this to you in my personal note, and I want to take a minute here to elaborate. This could be a big deal or it could be something small. If you’d love to give yourself a healthy body, give yourself the gift of time to exercise every day. Make that time sacred in your calendar and do not give it up to anyone.

If you’d like to give yourself the gift of a trip to Paris, give yourself small gifts all year that will help you reach that goal. Buy a map of Paris, start learning French, or start a savings plan and contribute whatever you can this year. Your gift to yourself could even be something as simple as signing up for a magazine subscription or getting a new book that you’ve been wanting to read for a long time.

Give yourself whatever your heart desires! Who ever said you should be deprived of what you want? You deserve to have something just for YOU! Just knowing you’re taking action to give yourself something you really want will make you happier and prevent you from doing things from a place of lack in your life. If you want something and take steps to give it to yourself, the universe will act like Santa Clause and immediately fulfill it for you! Just like that…really!

3.) Pick a theme word for your life. Everyone knows Santa Clause’s purpose. His mantra is “Ho, ho, ho!” and when you hear it, you know there’s a jolly man in a red suit running around delivering presents. What’s your mantra? The more clear you are about what you want your “theme” for this year to be, the easier it will be to think about your goals and measure your progress. Doing this one thing before the end of the year can be extremely liberating. I picked “virtual” knowing that I’d like to do a lot more online work this year and I immediately felt less stressed. I also started getting a ton of ideas on how I want to be more “virtual”. What’s your theme word for this year? Maybe sit down with a piece of paper and just start writing words until you find one that feels right to you. That may seem odd, but take 2 minutes and try it. You’ll be amazed at how well it works! A few ideas to get your started…kindness, abundance, love, partnership, health.

Happy Holidays and Ho, Ho, Ho to you and yours!

*this information does not take the place of medical treatment

Do Less Give More

Life is about serving others with our best gifts and talents and experiencing the simple joys that life offers. But do you ever feel resentful or depleted when giving to others?

If so, you may be creating your own unnecessary drama. If you feel resentful or are totally exhausted by all the giving you are doing, whether it’s personal or professional, you are a martyr. I read an article about this in the September edition of Oprah Magazine called, “Are you a drama mama?”, which gives a great example of this.

Martyr’s give too much to others and pretend it’s okay, but they are really overwhelmed and boiling over inside. Martyrs may even outwardly complain about the situation but then make excuses for why they “have to do” this or that. In most cases, it’s simply not true.

Some people are aware that they do this and some are so caught up in “the rut”, they don’t even realize how much has piled up on their plates. Consciously or unconsciously, martyrs think they have to punish themselves in this way to get love and acceptance. They think, “I have to DO for others, or I don’t deserve love”. This is what I like to call “stinking thinking”.

Most of you know what your limits are and need to respect your body and limitations. At the very least, you know when you feel exhausted or overworked over an extended period of time, and you know something has to change. If your health and wellbeing is being compromised because of how much you are doing for others, it’s time to stop being a drama mama or drama papa and set some boundaries!

I mean, let’s get real. If junior has to go to soccer practice, and you’re shoving him out the door without a proper meal and yelling at him all the way there because you have to “hurry up”, so you can get to the next thing after it’s over, do you think that’s giving him a quality life experience? Then, you might try to make up for your overwhelm or shortness in a situation by doing even more and then feeling totally exhausted. Sound familiar? If you don’t develop some balance and start saying no to what’s not vital in your life, you will find yourself emotionally and physically drained and sick and you will eventually be forced to slow down.

A few tips on how to change this.

  1. Plot out all your activities on your calendar, so you can see how much you are actually doing.
  2. Schedule extra time for every activity, so you have plenty of time and can slow down and be fully engaged.
  3. Schedule blocks of free time for yourself. You can use this time to read a book, get a massage, finish a personal project, or whatever is on your list that you consider important but it never seems to get done. Do not delete this time. You must honor these blocks of time like any other appointment.
  4. You will most likely find that something’s got to give. Good! Then, you’re doing this right. Now, ditch, delegate, or schedule items on your list you really don’t have time for. Saying “No” is okay! Not everyone will like this and that’s okay too. The people that really love you will understand and you will be much happier.

By not spreading yourself so thin, you’ll be able to be your best self and give quality instead of quantity to all that you do. Being fully present and connected in everything you do and slowing down to enjoy the people in your world is the best way to show gratitude and appreciation at this time of giving and all year round.

*this information does not take the place of medical treatment